This is not a book that explains what BDSM is, this is a book that explains what BDSM is all about. This is a book for people who are considering stepping into real time BDSM, and it is also a book for people who have been involved in the community for a while. This book treats the world of BDSM as a culture unto itself and goes a long way to explaining the expectations, rules, and words that are common to this culture. This book does not tell you how to use any implements (floggers, canes, etc), but it does explain why in the world you’d want to use such implements. This is a must-have resource book for your kink library.

BDSM Mastery - Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols

Rubel Ph.D., Robert J.

Fairfield, M. Jen

Education & Teaching

Red Eight Ball Press

About this book: A servant serves Master’s needs or is fired;A slave serves Master’s wants or is released.However, Master’s wants must not trump slave’s needs,Even when playing by RACK standards.slave is in service to Master;However, Master is in service to the relationship.Welcome to the complex and elegantWorld of Master/slave relations.This is a revised and substantially expanded version of my prior book, Master/slave Relations: Handbook of theory and practice. Even if you’ve read that one, this is substantially different. This is a book both for people starting out in M/s and also for people who have been involved for a few years. The second book in this series, Master/slave Mastery: Refining the Fire – ideas that matter is intended for those who have been involved with the Master/slave world for 5+ years. Together, these books are core readings for anyone interested in living in a structured, authority-imbalanced relationship.

Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices

Reference

Writing, Research & Publishing Guides

Many of our adult behaviors are largely invisible to us because they’re accepted and supported by our culture. It doesn’t occur to us to question our own (or our partner’s) basic assumptions about who we are and how we interact in the world. It’s difficult to step aside from yourself and explore why you think as you do. The more you understand how you (and those with whom you're speaking) take in information, the easier the communication becomes. This book is intended to help you decipher what others are saying and also to help you realize why some of your messages are not being heard the way you intended them.

Is THAT What they Meant?: A book of practical communication insights

Self-Help

Relationships

Many get tripped up over the very concept of written protocols. We’ve met many Masters who believe that writing out the way they want things done removes creativity from the relationship.  That’s not the way we see it.  In our experience, a protocol manual is much more than documenting rules of service. Writing a protocol manual helps you examine and refine your relationship and your relationship management style. The very process of creating a manual such as this reveals the kinds of service Master really wants from the slave and the kinds of service the slave can actually deliver. In that light, writing a protocol manual is an exercise in clarifying the intent of your relationship.  Biased as we are, we assert that protocols help to reprogram both the Master’s and the slave’s brains. They help you create habits. Protocols don’t merely define how you look on the outside, protocols help shape how you think on the inside. Since protocols specify the way Master wants this particular slave to do things, and since people are different from one another, protocol manuals are person-specific.

Master/slave Mastery--Protocols:: Focusing the intent of your relationship

Etiquette

For the first time ever, this book deconstructs a BDSM scene and rebuilds them component by component to explain why you do what you do in a scene-and how to do it intentionally and reliably to achieve extraordinary, consistent results. By the time you have learned to implement this material, your toys will have become extensions of your will. You will know how to speak the physical language (in addition to the verbal language) of connection. With practice and application, these skills will energize your play and elevate it from a mundane to a transcendent experience. We provide a recipe of sorts; a formula for reliably producing magical play scenes.

Safe, Sexy & Consensual: Creating Magic in the Dungeon

Rubel PhD, Robert J. (Dr. Bob)

Indigo, The Goddess

Do you listen to respond or listen to understand? While many books are written about how to get your point across, effective communication is about transmitting and receiving messages as close to the intended meaning as possible. What causes the deterioration of the intended meaning? You. Real-world communication can be compared to standing on a two-way street filled with loud and distracting traffic. Imagine that you are on one side of that street, but the person trying to speak with you is on the other side. There are barriers and blockades so that neither of you can cross, and you are trying to get messages back and forth. In reality, this represents the many barriers created by your personal perspectives and filters that you have been accumulating your entire life. Unfortunately, this often interferes with your ability to clearly understand or clearly transmit your message. So... how do we get from this noisy, busy street to better understanding? The first step in truly listening is learning how to get out of your own way. The roadmap to become an effective communicator lies within.

In One Ear and Out the Other: Essential Guide for Effective Communication

Rubel PhD, Robert J.

Petterson, Veronica M.

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