PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE "Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the "done to death" vampire story." "If Eric Northman ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire." "Got the book just before bed... Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night... It was impossible to put down." +++++ When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire. And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity. As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

Fat Vampire

Literature & Fiction

Truant, Johnny B.

Genre Fiction

Johnny B Truant

The story of Reginald -- the world's slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire -- continues in this second installment of the FAT VAMPIRE series… +++++ It's been six months since fast-food-addicted Reginald Baskin was turned into a vampire too fat to live peacefully amongst the glamorous undead -- six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that power doesn't equal popularity. Sure, Maurice is now calling the shots, but the Council is up to new and dirty tricks, threatening to once again upset the balance… But when the Vampire Nation faces genocidal violence at the hands of an unstoppable force and the very future of vampirekind is threatened, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki must find their allies elsewhere… buried deep underground in a foreign land.

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken

Humor & Satire

The story of Reginald -- the world's slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire -- continues in this fourth installment of the FAT VAMPIRE series… +++++ Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American Vampire Council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council. Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight, ... but then just in time, a new leader appears, ready to restore order, and to avoid the human-vampire war that seems inches from explosion. Things are soon on the mend, but a dangerous faction seems determined to upset the fragile balance, plunging the world's vampires into a war on two fronts -- with a deadly and prepared human force on one side and the vampires' very creators on the other. And in the middle, one fat undead guy fights to be a voice of reason, eating blood-soaked pizza all the while.

Fat Vampire 4: Harder Better Fatter Stronger

The story of Reginald -- the world's slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire -- continues in the fifth and penultimate installment of the FAT VAMPIRE series… +++++ The new vampire president and his genocidal right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace... but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil. And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them -- with plans to exterminate the planet's current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves. Reginald, Nikki, Maurice, and the others bunkered in at Maurice's estate, meanwhile, have found themselves in the middle of a no-win scenario. Is it better to fight with the fanged armies in the vampire revolution? Or should they turn traitors -- and risk extermination by their makers -- in order to protect the humans? But just as the cold war outside is about to turn hot, Reginald's unmatched vampire brain reveals the existence of an artifact that could predict the outcome of the coming war -- and maybe even a way to stop it. The only problem is that nobody knows where the artifact is... and when full-fledged war then breaks out and mass slaughter begins on both sides, it seems that time may have run out. Fat Vampire 5 is the biggest, bloodiest, most snack-filled installment in the Fat Vampire series so far, and sets the stage for the sixth book's epic series-ender -- a conclusion so big you'll want to unbuckle your belt and push back from the dinner table.

Fat Vampire 5: Fatpocalypse

The story of Reginald -- the world's slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire -- continues in this final installment of the FAT VAMPIRE series… Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war, and life is good. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built... making just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans are still around (tightly controlled, of course), because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended -- that the archive he holds in his blood still warns of an ominous change on the horizon. As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Reginald Baskin -- always an outcast, always neglected -- may be the only chance to save it. As Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a startling realization that even he never saw coming... but after forty years of hate and violence, his solution may have come too late. The humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren't afraid to use them -- even if it could mean the end of everything -- because in a world ruled by monsters, humanity has nothing left to lose. Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest marks the last chapter in the Fat Vampire saga. So belly up to the bar and loosen your belt, because the final course will fill you to bursting.

Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest