Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won't leave. Days pass, and they're still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won't allow themselves to escape. Carlton Mellick III's "The Menstruating Mall" is both a modernized take on Luis Bunuel's "The Exterminating Angel," and a parody of Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None." Featuring mock mall advertisements by retard punk hero Food Fortunata and cover art by Skin242.

The Menstruating Mall

Literature & Fiction

Carlton Mellick III

Humor & Satire

Afterbirth Books

Tangerinephant by Kevin Dole 2 THIS IS THE WAY TENSION BUILDS . . . Michael Tangerinephant has problems. He's on the outs with his cyborg-prostitute girlfriend. He's in trouble with his (formerly) criminal syndicate. He's been framed to take the fall in a trillion dollar stock scandal. Things seem like they can really get no worse when aliens abduct him and force him to reenact 20th century daytime television. The Chill are strange. The Chill are deranged. Unpleasant things begin to swim towards the surface of his (sub)conscious in their presence. They might drive him crazy, if he isn't there already. . . A swirling vortex of science fiction, satire, and surrealism, Tangerinephant will suck you in and chop you into moonrocks. "Tangerinephant is one of the most wildly imaginative books I've read in years," ---Carlton Mellick III, author of Satan Burger "The world of Kevin Dole 2 is vibrant, irreverant, and most of all important. His is the kind of jubilance found only among madmen and geniuses." ---John Edward Lawson, author of Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades

Tangerinephant

Science Fiction & Fantasy

Dole 2, Kevin

Fantasy

An alternate universe? A different dimension? The "id" of America? Meet Anslenot and his tormentor/confident, a giant tarantula, as they wander through a blasted, desecrated landscape of broken ideals and shattered hopes. In this place, nothing is right. The Militant Lambs fight with the Opposition and no one knows whose side who is on. Add to that Martians... Venusians... Elvis.... To top it off, Anslenot is hounded by his dysfunctional family and upbringing...and legendary surrealist Franz Kafka makes Anslenot his honorary uncle. Nightmarish, strange, bizarre--the way things are to be? Or the way things--really are? Also included in this collection is the novella The Humphrey Bogart Blues, a sympathetic look at Marilyn Monroe, who had she just been able to hook up with the Martians... ...and twenty-eight additional stories, previously published as well as some unpublished, testify to the breadth and scope of writing of, as one editor has stated, one of the top writers of Magic Realism.

Kafka's Uncle And Other Strange Tales

TAYLOR, Bruce

This collection highlights dark surrealism at its most experimental and absurd depths. The texts are perception-altering and soul-poisoning, humorous in the way that accidental amputation and spontaneous combustion are. From the man who works at the foot fungus factory to the man who lives in a giant rectum, Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades will leave you wondering where you misplaced your sanity.Bio: John Edward Lawson is an author and editor living just outside Washington, D.C. His poetry collections include The Horrible and The Scars are Complimentary. His novel, Last Burn in Hell, was published in 2005. John is editor-in-chief of Raw Dog Screaming Press and The Dream People webzine, and has also been editor of several anthologies, including Tempting Disaster and Sick: An Anthology of Illness.

Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades

Lawson, John Edward

Genre Fiction

One part surrealistic farce, one part psychotic hallucination, this story begins with a visit from a friend, Anton, who has been slowly losing his face. Next, meet Gregory, whose home now includes a non-existing room. Add in a neighbor who screams for no apparent reason, the joys of purchasing photographs of events that never happened, and attempts to read the book, What You'll Never Finish, and you might begin to fathom this journey that describes the circle of life and death, isolation and romantic infatuation, and the discovery of who, or what, God really is. Like a modern day Alice in Wonderland for grown-ups.  "Wow...this is f**cking rad...who is this writer?" --kurt k. heasley, fountainhead of acid rock legends LILLYS  "Ray Fracalossy's ability to seamlessly blur the line between the irreal and real has made him one of the defining writers of the new absurdist movement. He possesses something rarely found in art today, a unique voice. Tales is a novel that will more than likely outlast us all." --polycarp kusch, author & founder of both oBook.org and the new absurdist website  "Though Ray Fracalossy's work has an absurdist core reminiscent of the old school, it has a decidedly modern heart that makes you laugh and think at the same time." --Kevin Donihe, author of Shall We Gather at the Garden? and Grape City

Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland

Ray Fracalossy

It's a night like any other for punk rock band Green is the Enemy. Having just completed a gig in their hometown of Seattle, they pile into their van, headed for San Francisco to open for their idols Peroxide and with any luck, get signed to Withering Skin Records. Unfortunately, things don't go exactly as planned. They travel no more than a few blocks when an 8.5 earthquake strikes the city, tumbling buildings and opening streets, and sending the van crashing down into a huge crevasse. Beneath the city of Seattle is another long buried city, known to locals as The Underground and it is here that the band find themselves, trapped and somehow vastly. changed. Join Ro, Pawn, Dose and Whey as they fight to make it back in time for their gig, encounter strange creatures called Kreepkins, a surfer-dude warlock, a vengeful demon and a Metal Priestess who holds the key to their escape from the bizarre subterranean nightmare that is now their lives.

Chemical Gardens

Gina Ranalli

Here's the first thing you should know about God: he doesn't like to be called God. And he isn't crazy about churches, crucifixes or having his own pronoun capitalized. He also can't decide if the Bible is laughable or infuriating; he only knows that he had nothing to do with it. He thinks of himself as an average Joe, enjoys a good Elvis tune, communing with nature, and sit-down dinners with the suburban Ohio family he has imposed himself upon, unbeknownst to them. But once he decides to play all-American boy to help him decide if the human race is worth saving, he finds himself at a crossroads and discovers that his typical family is far from typical and the world at large is crazier than even He ever imagined. In Deity, God creates the Earth because he's bored. It's lucky for us that he didn't have a copy of this entertaining novel on hand, or else we probably wouldn't be here today. Thank you Vic Mudd for waiting this long to write it. -Bradley Sands, author of It Came from Below the Belt and editor of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens I can't say for sure if Deity was 'divinely inspired' or not, but I sure hope so One can only hope God is as funny and down to Earth as he is portrayed here. Vic has composed a fast moving farce, putting God in a reality TV setting. Highly enjoyable -Ray Fracalossy, author of Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland

Deity the Almighty's Adventures on Earth And Beyond

Mudd, Vic

What if you killed yourself and discovered that the "Afterlife" might actually suck? Pogue Eldridge is a woman who does just that, and she starts to realize that this Afterlife stuff isn't at all what she expected. First, she's required to stay on a specific floor at the Sterling Hotel until renovations in Hell and Heaven are completed. That's the rules. Second, she can't go up to the nice floors where all the rich people are. More rules. And third, the food isn't that great, and there's nothing to do. Death imitating life? Pogue thinks so, and along with 15-year-old Katina, who died of a drug overdose (another form of suicide), they decide to go exploring, and bring along some of the others they've met. But because of the rules, they can only go down in the hotel elevator. And once they're in Hell, they can't leave unless "Lucy" decides they can. Join Pogue and her companions on a seriously twisted, often funny, and macabre trip through the Afterlife, where a Goth Lucifer suffers from depression, Jesus plays video games and smokes way too much pot, and Hell truly is a crappy place to be. "Ranalli is one of those rare authors who can seamlessly combine horror with the hilariously bizarre, all with a sly little smile and wink. With Ranalli's unique turns of phrase and descriptions, Suicide Girls in the Afterlife pokes fun at life, death, and the absurdity of being human. A strange, entertaining, and thought-provoking read."  --Andi Marquette, author of several novels including Friends in High Places and the award-winning Land of Entrapment

Suicide Girls in the Afterlife

Ranalli, Gina

One character dies, one is left for dead, and the third is kidnapped. And that s just the first chapter of this dark comedy. Sit back with Time, and watch as God and Satan gamble over everyone, following the misadventures of a couple of drug dealers. Add in a cop who has delusions of being the superhero Napkin Man, and his wife, a sexaholic junkie, a splash of Dante for a taste of not so classic literature, and you may get some idea of what this religious satire has in store for you. Strap yourself in baby-waby for some Blender Fiction at its finest.       Vincent W. Sakowski is perhaps the most subversive of all the Bizarro writers working today...everyone who loves the surreal should be reading him right now, before he undoes the fabric of the universe and pulls you inside-out right along with it.       Michael Arnzen, author of Play Dead     ...Progressive satire of this type is a rare find and a pleasure to read, from beginning to end...If you want to know what Bizarro literature is all about look no further, because Sakowski is the real deal.       John Edward Lawson, author of Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades

Not Quite One of the Boys

Vincent W. Sakowski

Better Ways of Being Dead by Christian TeBordo is a dark mystery (more pleasedoit than whodunit), an A paper, an F paper, several very bad sonnets, a batch of ridiculous encyclopedia entries, and a lengthy monologue that takes place entirely during a game of hands on a hard body. Required reading for all students of Advanced Recomposition.

Better Ways of Being Dead

TeBordo, Christian

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