Better Boating Blunders: Sea Going Stuff Ups for Beginners and Experts

Humor & Entertainment

Curtis, Paul

Humor

Rose Publishing

Those suffering the merest hint of desire to go seafaring in their own boat will learn from these heart-breaking examples just what can go wrong, Read the secrets of successfully leaving a mooring with topsides unmarked, happening miraculously upon your destination, and then, for the pièce de resistance, dropping anchor with aplomb. Inevitable binocular watchers will murmur appreciatively and even your crew will be impressed. Perfect. 
For the cognoscenti, those who know all, this fine book can be used for everything from a chock for a deck-stepped mast, a wedge for propping open a broken hatch, to slapping a wayward crew member into shape. So, buy it anyway. The tales of the mess some fools get into will give you a good laugh while leaving you, dare we say it, feeling a trifle smug. This book is best enjoyed with a pinch of salt, four parts gin, one-part dry vermouth. Shaken, not stirred. 
Any profits from the sale of this publication, claims the author, go directly towards the purchase of his next boat.

This amusing insight into Cunard’s legendary liners begins more than 50 years ago when the author joined the original Queen Mary as an entertainments officer, when a part of the job was "bumbling" the passengers while keeping a wary eye out for professional gamblers criss-crossing the Atlantic, and there was bingo and dance bands, novelty dancing and fancy-dress parades, and a primitive disco with a monster jukebox. Paul Curtis recounts the stories of the ships, the antics of passengers and crews, and much more besides. His stories include the time Yehudi Menuhin refused to play for the passengers, but played for the crew instead; finding Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and evangelist Billy Graham among the bingo players; and being called to deal with two amorous passengers making use of the grand piano in the first class lounge. Just turning these pages releases a sniff of the sea and a whiff of champagne. This frank and funny account mixes Cunard history with personal anecdote and vividly reveals how passenger and crew life have changed over the years across the Cunard liners.

High Tea on the Cunard Queens: A Light-Hearted Look at Life at Sea

The History Press

Moose, the Old Shop and Jericho

Brindledog Books

Aboard Pacific Princess: The Princess Cruises Love Boat

Travel

Specialty Travel

Rose Publishing (CA)

Rooikat

Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

Thrillers & Suspense

Platanna Press

Packed full of funny Christmas poems, parodies and nonsense verse by contemporary UK poets Max Scratchmann, Paul Curtis and Patrick Winstanley, The Peculiar Poetry Collection of Funny Christmas Verse distills the true spirit of Christmas - comic, misanthropic, dyspeptic, or sometimes just sick. The collection is presented chronologically, taking the reader in seven easy leaps from the eager anticipation of Christmas, through the fun and festivities, to the bitter aftertaste. Meet Pip, the ineffably jolly penguin who gets on everyone's tits, revel in the feminist retelling of the story of The Three Wise Men and discover the feminine hygiene product set to be a Christmas sensation.Oddly compelling and compellingly odd, you'll enjoy a roller coaster ride through the festive peaks - drinking, feasting and flirtation - and troughs - hangovers, religion and relations - in an anthology overflowing with Christmas good cheer. Perfect as a present for a hard to please relative (any relative!), a secret Santa gift for a colleague, or a small indulgence for oneself, The Peculiar Poetry Collection of Funny Christmas Verse is ribald, riotous and on occasion very rude.

The Peculiar Poetry Book of Funny Christmas Verse (Peculiar Poetry Books)

Scratchmann, Max

Winstanley, Patrick

CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

This is the extraordinary story of the people with the vision to build not one, but a whole fleet of the world's biggest cruise ships, each bigger than the last.Stretching design imagination to the limits, the Oasis ships cost more than five billion dollars. These giant vessels introduce technical innovations which change the face of cruising forever.At any one time, 40,000 people could be living aboard these floating cities.This entertainingly told story gives a behind the scenes look at the wonders of the life encountered at sea.Author’s NoteThank you for reading my book and I really hope you enjoyed it. I don’t have a collection tin to rattle or a hat to proffer for a tip, but it would really help us poor struggling authors, unloved and unappreciated as we are, sob-sob, if you would be kind enough to leave a quick review by clicking here.If you would like me to let you know when I have a new book coming out, click here to leave your email address. Unless it’s a new book, I promise not to bother you. You see, I will be too busy writing books.If you just want to say hi, I would love to hear from you at paul@paulcurtis.com.auGood ReadingPaul

The Oasis Sisters: Royal Caribbean’s Fleet of the World’s Biggest Cruise Ships

Engineering & Transportation

Transportation

Independently published

As one of the few smaller cruise ships with a worldwide itinerary, Pacific Princess has become a firm favourite with ship lovers in America, Europe, Africa, and Australasia.In homage to this perfect sized cruise ship, written by marine author Paul Curtis, here is the full story of how this fascinating vessel was transformed from the drawing board to reality.In addition to full details on her vital statistics, the companies that backed her and the people who sail on her, this book gives a wonderful impression of life aboard Royal Caribbean's Pacific Princess.From pilotage to cuisine, here are all the facts to ensure the Pacific Princess is never forgotten.

Dr Bartlett is an unlikely candidate for romance. In spite of a successful career in psychiatry, he feels a failure. He has so little gravitas that he is often mistaken for a patient. He irritates his peers by analysing everything and everyone, even their dreams. But worse: on the solid ground of his speciality, he assumes authority with patronising pompousness. To the groans of his colleagues, he produces a research paper: the catalyst for a bizarre adventure that brings him into contact with one of the most powerful women in the country - Penny. 
Unsurprisingly, she is appalled by Bartlett, and the collision of their personalities causes him to disintegrate along the fault-lines of his insecurities, exposing his distrust of women and lack of self-esteem. But Bartlett has certain peculiarities of which he himself is unaware, and, at his lowest ebb, tormented by unrequited love, these enter the fray. In spite of his understanding of human behaviour, Penny's sphinx-like nature defeats his analysis: he has no insight into her conflicted behaviour. 
One day, he receives a visitor - apparently a total stranger, and yet Bartlett's instincts twitch with familiarity. His adventures are not over.

The Lantern Balcony

Literature & Fiction

Action & Adventure

Vanguard Press

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