Do you yearn to illustrate? Do you dream of being the star of the commercial art world? Then this is the book for you! In this fun-to-read manual you will quickly learn how to land Dream Commissions and wow Art Directors; get past the Scariest Secretaries; get loads of FREE Publicity; speed up Slow Payers; create killer newsletters and do a hundred other cool things to put your freelance illustration career straight into the fast-lane.

Illustration 101: Streetwise Tactics for Surviving As a Freelance Illustrator

Arts & Photography

Scratchmann, Max

Graphic Design

Poison Pixie Pub Ltd

Do you want to promote your art or photography to the world's top art directors and photo editors? Do you want to be in constant communication with decision-makers everywhere? But does your promitional budget read like a bad comedy script?   Worry not. Help is at hand!   The picture postcard is one of the cheapest, easiest and most effective marketing tools invented for visual creatives, and this fun-to-read and easy-to-follow guide shows you scores of ways to generate lucrative commissions on budgets that very rarely exceed double figures.   Illustrated in full-colour throughout and featuring examples and breakdowns of real promotional postcards from some of the world's top photographers, illustrators and film makers, and written by award-winning illustrator , Max Scratchmann, author of the critically-acclaimed Illustration 101, this book could be one of the best investments that you ever make for your creative career.

How to Grab the Attention of Art Directors & Editors by the Simple Use of Postcards

Poison Pixie Publishing

Bad Girls - Eight Noir Stories

Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

Mystery

Poison Pixie Ltd

Do you yearn to illustrate? Do you dream of being the star of the commercial art world? Then this is the book for you! In this fun-to-read manual you will quickly learn how to land Dream Commissions and wow Art Directors; get past the Scariest Secretaries; get loads of FREE Publicity; speed up Slow Payers; create killer newsletters and do a hundred other cool things to put your freelance illustration career straight into the fast-lane. Yes, the classic is back! After over a decade in print the illustrator's bible is fully revised and enlarged with new chapters on marketing and self-publishing and crammed with oodles of new tips and trade secrets.

Illustration 101 - Streetwise Tactics for Surviving as a Freelance Illustrator

Named one of the twelve best travel books of 2009 by Worldhum, Chucking It All exposes the gritty reality behind all those twee bestsellers which extol the joys of sunny rural idylls. With its remorseless true-life account of downshifting to a remote Scottish island, Chucking It All uncovers the frightening realities of relocating to “a magical island lost in the mists of time” as you follow the warts-and-all adventures of urban misanthrope, Max Scratchmann, as he valiantly tries to forge a new life in the windswept Orkney islands, and grumbles his way through unending winters with eighteen-hour nights, nocturnal visits from drunken farmers and booty calls from desperate divorcees. From struggling to fit in as a temporary postman in a wilderness where houses don’t display numbers or names, to attending drunken country ceilidhs with the island singles’ club, or finding himself up to the neck in local politics while performing in the village pantomime, Chucking It All is an urbanite’s nightmare and one of the most hilarious books that you will read this year. Irreverent, sarcastic and bitingly caustic, Chucking It All still manages to be a grudgingly affectionate portrait of rural life through the eyes of a cynical outsider, and is one of the truest accounts of “living the dream” ever published. “Does for downshifting what Lewinsky did for Clinton – only much funnier...”

Chucking It All: How Downshifting to a Windswept Scottish Island Did Nothing to Improve My Quality of Life (Maverick Lifestyles)

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

Max Scratchmann was born the son of a Dundee jute wallah and spent the first six years of his life in India before being taken "home" to Scotland in the bitter winter of 1963.  In Scotland for Beginners he tells the often painful, but very funny, story of growing up in the bleak grey-harled bungalows of Dundee's newly-built suburbs and learning to adapt to his native land in an era when the very fabric of the nation was changing.   Told as a series of humorous vignettes, Scotland for Beginners takes us on a sentimental journey through "auld Dundee" as Max struggles to decipher Scots dialect; buys school clothes from the formidable Miss Hannah at the Peter Street Co-op, and heroically endures the tortures of organised games at the Junior Boys Brigade.    Then, as the Sixties become the Seventies and the country is plunged into darkness by power strikes and the Three Day Week, the teenage Max goes girl-chasing at the Ice Rink; falls in love with Sally the prompter at the church drama group, and finally blunders into a dodgy drug deal in a garishly-painted tenement in the Hawkhill.  "Vivid, well observed and very, very funny…"

Scotland for Beginners: Learning to Live in the Land of My Fathers

Meet the Pobble who has all his toes, share the Fish Supper of J Alfred Prufrock and discover the lost manuscript of a poem penned by Edgar Allen Poe on his visit to the Raven Hotel, Blackpool.My Rubber Hebrew Nose is a hilariously insane collection of literary parody and nonsense verse, written and superbly illustrated by British humorist, Max Scratchmann, in the great tradition of Edward Lear and Lewis Carroll.Come and join some literary greats and their sexually deviant maiden aunts, as well as a stellar supporting cast of horrible children and errant vicars, proving, if proof were ever needed, that British comic verse is truly for life and not just for Christmas.

My Rubber Hebrew Nose: Nonsense Poems and Parodies

CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Packed full of funny Christmas poems, parodies and nonsense verse by contemporary UK poets Max Scratchmann, Paul Curtis and Patrick Winstanley, The Peculiar Poetry Collection of Funny Christmas Verse distills the true spirit of Christmas - comic, misanthropic, dyspeptic, or sometimes just sick. The collection is presented chronologically, taking the reader in seven easy leaps from the eager anticipation of Christmas, through the fun and festivities, to the bitter aftertaste. Meet Pip, the ineffably jolly penguin who gets on everyone's tits, revel in the feminist retelling of the story of The Three Wise Men and discover the feminine hygiene product set to be a Christmas sensation.Oddly compelling and compellingly odd, you'll enjoy a roller coaster ride through the festive peaks - drinking, feasting and flirtation - and troughs - hangovers, religion and relations - in an anthology overflowing with Christmas good cheer. Perfect as a present for a hard to please relative (any relative!), a secret Santa gift for a colleague, or a small indulgence for oneself, The Peculiar Poetry Collection of Funny Christmas Verse is ribald, riotous and on occasion very rude.

The Peculiar Poetry Book of Funny Christmas Verse (Peculiar Poetry Books)

Curtis, Paul

Winstanley, Patrick

Named one of the twelve best travel books of 2009 by Worldhum, Chucking It All exposes the gritty reality behind all those twee bestsellers which extol the joys of sunny rural idylls. With its remorseless true-life account of downshifting to a remote Scottish island, Chucking It All uncovers the frightening realities of relocating to “a magical island lost in the mists of time” as you follow the warts-and-all adventures of urban misanthrope, Max Scratchmann, as he valiantly tries to forge a new life in the windswept Orkney islands, and grumbles his way through unending winters with eighteen-hour nights, nocturnal visits from drunken farmers and booty calls from desperate divorcees. From struggling to fit in as a temporary postman in a wilderness where houses don’t display numbers or names, to attending drunken country ceilidhs with the island singles’ club, or finding himself up to the neck in local politics while performing in the village pantomime, Chucking It All is an urbanite’s nightmare and one of the most hilarious books that you will read this year. Irreverent, sarcastic and bitingly caustic, Chucking It All still manages to be a grudgingly affectionate portrait of rural life through the eyes of a cynical outsider, and is one of the truest accounts of “living the dream” ever published. “Sarcastic, cheeky and bitingly blunt...this comes highly recommended”The Scottish Field

Chucking It All: How Downshifting to a Windswept Scottish Island Did Nothing to Improve My Quality of Life

Travel

Europe

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Books by Scratchmann, Max