"Suzy Likes to Look at Balls" is the first of five books that make up Season One."Suzy likes to look at balls and if you play a sport, chances are before too long she'll take a look at yours...This book she wrote for you and me just to clue us in, on all the balls that Suzy's seen and where those balls have been." 
Somewhere east of Winslow, Arizona as the peace pipe made its rounds through their hastily erected and smoke filled wigwam, two literary mavericks laid plans to change the world...or at least to enlighten those who practice the age-old tradition of "story time". 
Bimisi Tayanita and Sumguyen Bangladesh remember the "story time" of their youth with fondness. Now, years later, with blatant disregard toward the advice they paid an attorney $134 for; they have set out to make those precious moments just before bed every bit as satisfying for dad (or any other reader) as they are for junior. 
The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season One Box Set include: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life.
--Toodles!

Suzy Likes to Look at Balls

Humor & Entertainment

Bimisi Tayanita

Humor

Reach Around Books

"Come Swing with Us!" is the second of five books that make up Season One. 
On her own artistic journey to spiritual enlightenment, Bimisi Tayanita has once again transformed her peyote induced mumblings into a physical form that is sure to make you laugh hysterically...and leave you with an empty yet benevolent curiosity as to the kind of person you really are. 
"It is the curious work of poetry and art and reflection to reveal meaning by obscuring meaning. It is a strange realm where swinging is not swinging, except when sometimes it is." 
The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season One Box Set include: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life.
--Toodles!

Come Swing With Us!

"Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand" is the third of five books that make up Season One. Inspired by several hundred true stories...and counting. Bimisi Tayanita says it all, without saying much of anything. If you are not choking on laughter midway through this book, don't bother with books 4 and 5...maybe this isn't for you. 
We can part ways now and still be friends. 
"Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand" is a fun and light hearted story that everybody can relate to, except for you of course...you have no idea what everybody is laughing about (wink, wink).
 "Spank the Monkey will not expose the thoughts that you fold and unfold and refold over and over in your mind...He will only whisper his sweet song of deliverance." 
The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season One Box Set include: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life.
--Toodles!

Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand

"Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth" is the fourth of five books that make up Season One. Curious but not concerned as to where they would sleep that night, Bimisi Tayanita and Sumguyen Bangladesh aimlessly meandered down the cobblestone calles of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. 
As the sun dipped into the Pacific they found themselves sequestered by a weathered native nut peddler (presumably named Tony) who mimed towards his cart and through guttural broken English encouraged them to "Put Tony's nuts in your mouth..." 
60 pesos later, as a cold cerveza complimented the first of Tony's nuts, pen was put to parchment and book four of season one came to be. 
The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season One Box Set include: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life.
--Toodles!

Put Tony's Nuts In Your Mouth!

"Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber" is the fifth of five books that make up Season One. Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs. It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk." A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of Season One. The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season One Box Set include: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life.
--Toodles!

Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber

Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. 
As the father of five I have done more "story time" than I would wish on my worst enemy. Somewhere around kid three I started changing the stories to make the process a bit more bearable, but kids ain't dumb, not mine anyway...Immediately after even a tiny variation I was hit with "That's NOT how it goes!" 
Being just as clever as my kids, I came up with a simple workaround...I'd write my own book and read it word for word EXACTLY how it goes, it was brilliant. I did it again. Story time was getting fun. 
Somewhere around book three my drinking buddies got a hold of them...They were laughing so hard that some of them were crying, one of my wife's friends admitted that "she pee'd a little". That was the "ah-ha" moment that brought us to where we are now. It is time to share these works of art with the world. 
Reach Around Books--Season One is the first five books we ever printed. For a limited time, your Season One order includes a beautiful and collectable keepsake box for you to store and transport these precious works of art...
Season one includes: 
<ul>
<li>Suzy Likes to Look at Balls </li>
<li>Come Swing with Us! </li>
<li>Spank the Monkey Lends a Hand </li>
<li>Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber </li>
<li>Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth! </li>
</ul>
If you have tried other "inappropriate" or "controversial" children's books I can say with confidence that these are longer, thicker and harder than what you are probably used to. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life. 
--Toodles!

Reach Around Books--Season One Box Set

"...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse?

"It takes a lot of balls to play golf like I do."--Pibber PayneSports like football, basketball, hockey and women's beach volleyball are intended to be watched, not actually played. Other sports are almost painful to watch, but participation is worth the price of admission EVERY time. Bimisi and Sumguyen have a long-standing policy of not participating in any sport unless it is acceptable, even expected that they will be drinking the entire duration. Sports on their short list include bowling, fishing, billiards and tubing down the Salt River under the Arizona summer sun.While the aforementioned do involve excessive amounts of skill, dedication and beer; there is only one sport that includes a motorized cart, all the booze you can handle and the iconic ball washing machine. This is the logic they applied when the decision was made to take Brenda and her beaver out for a lovely round of golf. Enjoy.

Brenda’s Beaver Plays a Round

“Jiggle Wiggle Tickle Pickle” is the third of five books that make up Reach Around Books--Season Two. 
“You can keep the change.” 
--Sumguyen, to cashier 
Sumguyen and Bimisi made the fiscally responsible decision to call in sick for a couple days and take advantage of the coveted free passes to the Las Vegas Adult Expo they were given by a scantily clad marketing rep in an Apache Junction bar the night before. 
They stopped in Wikiup, AZ for $14 worth of gas and a road soda. Sumguyen watched as a biker chick reached deep into the jar of pickles displayed on the counter. She was in elbow deep and was fishing for the largest of those brined beauties. As she clutched the winning pickle in her teeth she started counting out bills with her still dripping hand. 
Sumguyen knew those bills would be in his change, he slapped down a twenty and walked out the door. 
The treasures he might encounter at the Adult Expo and that monster Gherkin in a biker chick’s mouth made for a strange and conflicting combination of thoughts...the fourth book of Season Two was conceived over the next 28 miles. 
The five books included in the Reach Around Books Season Two Box Set include: Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse Brenda's Beave Plays a Round Jiggle Wiggle Tickle Pickle Lucy Lickalotopus Goes Down South Peter Pitched a Tent 
Through the timeless power of double entendre, Reach Around Books will have the reader in tears of laughter while to any juvenile listener they are completely innocent. If you are offended by humor, don't buy our books. If your kid is offended by our books, that implies they understand terms only found in the Urban Dictionary™...You failed as a parent long before Reach Around Books came into your life. 
--Toodles!

JiggleWiggleTicklePickle

How far would you go for a really really good taco?--The voice inside your headAs they say, history repeats itself. On a Friday, the day it always happens, Sumguyen was laid off from yet another menial gig. He excitedly called Bimisi with the news that he was once again amongst the ranks of the unemployed. Several times in the past this bounty of good fortune was cause for a road trip financed by the great American scam of "unemployment benefits"...this time would be no different.At 7:00 AM the next morning, with two spare tires, two foot long sandwiches and two coolers full of beer...these two were headed South. Two miles across the border, they were two beers down.The next two days and their final destination are still a bit of a blur, but Bimisi and Sumguyen still talk about how damn good those fish tacos were.

Lucy Lickalotopus Goes Down South

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