I Can Make You Hate

Would you like to eat whatever you want and still lose weight? Who wouldn't? Keep dreaming, imbecile. In the meantime, if you'd like to read something that alternates between laugh-out-loud-funny and apocalyptically angry, keep holding this book. Steal it if necessary. In his latest collection of rants, raves, hastily spluttered articles and scarcely literate scrawl, Charlie Brooker proves that there is almost nothing in this universe, big or small, that can't reduce a human being to a state of pure blind hatred. It won't help you lose weight, feel smarter, sleep more soundly, or feel happier about yourself. It WILL provide you with literally hours of distraction and merriment. It can also be used to stun an intruder, if you hit him with it correctly (hint: strike hard, using the spine, on the bridge of the nose).

Biographies & Memoirs

BROOKER, Charlie

Arts & Literature

Guardian Faber Publishing

This updated edition of the bestselling and wildly popular I Am the Secret Footballer features a new introduction and an additional chapter. The anonymous writer of the Guardian's "Secret Footballer" column gives Premiere League fans an insider's look into the unseen world of professional football. Who is The Secret Footballer? Only a few people know the true identity of the man inside the game. Whoever he is-and whatever team he plays for-TSF is always honest, fearless and opinionated. Here he takes readers past the locker-room door and reveals the inner-workings of a professional club, the exhilarating highs and crushing lows and what it's really like to do the job most of us can only dream of doing. The Secret Footballer chronicles the exploits of his Premiership colleagues with a gimlet eye and frank humor. Managers, agents and players are not spared from his observations-their mindsets, their relationships with those outside the sport, their behavior good and bad. In his inimitable style, TSF recounts entertaining and eyebrow-raising vignettes, naming names and dropping colorful details along the way

I Am The Secret Footballer: Lifting the Lid on the Beautiful Game

Sports & Outdoors

Anon`

Biographies

Tales from the Secret Footballer

Soccer

Some language rules are worth knowing - but which rules just make clear communication harder? The editor of the Guardians style guide cites authorities including Shakespeare, Bart Simpson and Kirsty MacColl as he explains the grammatical principles (not principals) that will help to perfect your writing. He also advises on the correct choice of words and urges us to resist jargon, euphemisms and the journalistic mistreatment of ironic and iconic.

For Who the Bell Tolls

David-Marsh

Reference

In May 2012 Kirstie Clements was unceremoniously sacked after thir - teen years in the editor's chair at Vogue Australia. Here she tells the story behind the headlines, and takes us behind the scenes of a fast - changing industry. During a career at Vogue that spanned twenty - five years, Clements rubbed shoulders with Karl Lagerfeld, Kylie Minogue, Ian Thorpe, Crown Princess Mary, Cate Blanchett, and many more shining stars. From her humble beginnings growing up in the Sutherland Shire in Sydney to her brilliant career as a passionate and fierce custo - dian of the world's most famous luxury magazine brand, Clements warmly invites us into her Vogue world, a universe that brims with dazzling celebrities, fabulous lunches, exotic locales and of course, outrageous fashion. Amidst the exhilaration and chaos of modern magazine publishing and the frenzied demands of her job, Clements is always steadfast in her dedication to quality. Above all, she is always Vogue.

The Vogue Factor

Clements, Kirstie

The Vogue Factor is the former Australian Vogue Editor-in-Chief's candid account of life at the heart of the fashion industry, from photo shoots and celebrity interviews to the ugly truth behind the glamour - infighting, back-stabbing and the dangerous pursuit of beauty. This is the behind-the-scenes story of an illustrious career in fashion, from receptionist to the editor's chair. It's a life of dazzling parties, outrageous fashion and exotic travel that most people can only dream of. But behind the glossy photos is a hidden world of chaos and pressure, where girls as young as twelve starve themselves to fit into a sample size. Kirstie Clements' eye-opening account of life in fashion's fast lane has hit headlines all over the globe. Both a celebration and a critique of this extraordinary industry, The Vogue Factor is this season's must-have

Arts & Photography

Kirstie Clements

Fashion

WikiLeaks: Inside Julian Assange's War on Secrecy

Humor & Entertainment

Harding, Luke

LEIGH, DAVID

The Guardian'

Television

Legendary Roy of the Rovers artist Paul Trevillion here presents 160 tricky new soccer dilemmas from his cult classic strip. Pit your wits against the distinguished referee Keith Hackett in his toughest scenarios yet. Interspersed with a wealth of facts and stats about the 'World Cup titans', and giving an insight into the sometimes bizarre and unpredictable challenges a referee can face, this book puts YOU in the hot seat.

You are the Ref 3

Comics & Graphic Novels

Trevillion, Paul

Hackett, Keith

Comic Strips

Read about how John Major learned the English language from his time in Nigeria. There is Tony Blair, with his verb-free sentences which imply everything and promise nothing. Gordon Brown, the grumpiest prime minister of recent years, both Stalin and Mr Bean. And now David Cameron - who really, really hates being drawn with a condom on his head. Let's not forget John Prescott, who can wrestle the English language to the mat and win by two falls to a submission, Michael Fabricant with his hairpiece stolen from the tail of a My Little Pony, Sir Peter Tapsell, a grandee so grand that when he rises to speak, Hansard writers are replaced by a crack team of monks to write up his words in illuminated lettering. Nick Clegg, with his default expression of a man's whose children's puppy is still missing. And of course, the famous 2010 press conference in the garden of Downing Street, a love-in that would have been illegal in 44 American states. This book, the best of Simon Hoggart's political sketchwriting, will have you laughing, chuckling, roaring, sniggering, and sometimes despairing. It is instant history with added jokes.

House of Fun: 20 Glorious Years in Parliament

Hoggart, Simon

Humor

Having surveyed post-war British drama in State of the Nation, Michael Billington now looks at the global picture. In this provocative and challenging new book, he offers his highly personal selection of the 101 greatest plays ranging from the Greeks to the present-day.But his book is no mere list. Billington justifies his choices in extended essays — and even occasional dialogues — that put the plays in context, explain their significance and trace their performance history. In the end, it's a book that poses an infinite number of questions. What makes a great play? Does the definition change with time and circumstance? Or are certain common factors visible down the ages? It's safe to say that it's a book that, in revising the accepted canon, is bound to stimulate passionate argument and debate.Everyone will have strong views on Billington's chosen 101 and will be inspired to make their own selections. But, coming from Britain's longest-serving theater critic, these essays are the product of a lifetime spent watching and reading plays and record the adventures of a soul amongst masterpieces.

The 101 Greatest Plays: From Antiquity to the Present

Billington, Michael

Performing Arts

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