Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane.
Boy Child Peter, Girl Child Jane and Daddy have exciting adventures with Mommy. Daddy likes gadgets. Peter and Jane like starting fires, trying to kill each other and driving Mommy to drink. Written from the point of view of an exhausted mommy at the end of the day, it’s honest, it’s funny, and it’s a little bit sweary.
It is Mommy’s 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all ‘tiddly’ after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mommy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’, boasting about Boy Child and Girl Child’s achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea she’s had…

Why Mommy Drinks

Sims, Gill

Humor & Entertainment

Harpercollins

The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.
Welcome to Mummy’s world… The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips… Mummy’s marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she’s also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn’t have to run out when the nanny calls in sick. Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing ‘comfy trousers’ to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T? Probably effing not.

Why Mummy Swears: The Sunday Times Number One Bestseller

Humor

Why Mommy Swears is the much anticipated new novel from Gill Sims, author of the hilarious Why Mommy Drinks and online sensation Peter and Jane.
It’s every parents’ nightmare – the start of the school holidays – and instead of sitting in the sun, reading a book over a cold, crisp glass of Pinot Grigio, Mummy has two bored moppets to attend to. After frantically booking sports camps, child minder slots, not to mention time off work, Mummy is exhausted. But this is only the beginning…
After being dragged to join the school’s PTA in the new term by an annoyingly kind-spirited neighbour, Mummy is stuck with organising the Christmas Fayre and pleasing all the overly disapproving parents. In combination with getting to know her father’s surprise new glamorous (and much younger) wife, and being forced to spend more time with her narcissistic mother, life isn’t cutting her much of a break. What more could possibly happen?

Why Mommy Swears

Family begins with a capital eff.
I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All ‘just phases!’ When do the ‘phases’ end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

Why Mummy Doesn't Give a ****!

HarperCollins Publishers, Ltd

Make every day funny with the riotous journal companion to Gill Sims’ smash hit Sunday Times bestseller Why Mummy Drinks.
You’re the proud owner of a journal called Why Mummy Drinks, so you almost certainly have no time at all for meditation, mindfulness or self-care (either the self-help sort or the euphemistic sort). This journal isn’t about promising to make you a better person, or a happier one, or a thinner one or even a wiser one, because there’s nothing wrong with the person you are. What it will do, is give you somewhere you can record your memories for the year. Or you can just skip straight to the drink recommendations at the end of each month. Totally up to you. 
Tired of the daily school drop off struggle? Needing a cold glass of pinot after parents’ evening? Mummy knows exactly how you’re feeling.
Recount and reflect on the ups and downs, the joys and the trials of motherhood with this honest and laugh-out-loud journal companion. Featuring charming illustrations and creative prompts, as well as Mummy’s hilarious reflections throughout the year, this journal is the perfect gift for Mums everywhere.

Why Mummy Drinks: The Journal: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

Mommy is single and ready to mingle.Shocked and shaken from her divorce from Simon, but determined to make the best of it, Ellen moves to pursue her rural dream of a quirky cottage with roses around the door and chickens in the garden. However, Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly obstreperous and the roses have jaggy thorns. The world of internet dating beckons, with mixed results, and Ellen clashes with Jane's difficult teenage years at every turn, but the one thing they can both agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog is indeed The Ugliest Dog in the World, but is also the loveliest.

Why Mommy Doesn’t Give a ****

Literature & Fiction

Dramas & Plays

Why Mummy Doesnt Give A ****!

Harper Collins Publishers - UK Wholesale Acct

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Sims, Gill. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Sims, Gill

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Sims, Gill. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Why Mommy Drinks

Why Mummy Swears: The Sunday Times Number One Bestseller

Why Mommy Swears

Why Mommy Drinks

Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

Why Mummy Doesn't Give a ****!

Why Mummy Drinks: The Journal: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

Why Mommy Doesn’t Give a ****

Why Mummy Doesnt Give A ****!

Why Mommy Swears