My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

"[O'Callaghan's] memoir vividly presents the painful process of kicking drugs and accepting his sexuality. For sports fans who haven't lived in fear of having their sexuality exposed, O'Callaghan's powerful narrative should trigger much-needed empathy...A fine book on an important subject, and a source of hope for a more accepting world."--Booklist, Starred review"In this country, LGBTQ individuals face varying degrees of acceptance. Ryan O'Callaghan, a former offensive tackle for the New England Patriots and the Kansas City Chiefs, chronicles his struggle as a closeted gay man in the hypermasculine world of professional football in My Life on the Line, coauthored by Cyd Zeigler."--Publishers Weekly, included in an LGBT preview/feature"[O'Callaghan's] powerful memoir will inspire and even provoke change, and serve as a building block toward acceptance and empathy beyond NFL locker rooms. This no-holds-barred account reveals O'Callaghan's long journey to recovery and self-acceptance, and provides hope for anyone, not only professional athletes, living life in the shadows."--Library Journal"This is a story about love and acceptance. It is a story about honesty and truth, integrity and hope. Ryan O'Callaghan could have kept it to himself, could have given the world a polished look. But instead he offers us all of himself in these pages. By doing so, he will change lives, save lives, and make the path ahead that much smoother for those who bravely follow in his footsteps."--Congressman Joe Kennedy III"Ryan O'Callaghan's story is so poignant, so real, so human. I truly believe the publication of this book could be (and should be) a seminal moment for many athletes and other people in all walks of life. If an NFL player, cloistered in the manliness of his game, can come out of the closet and tell his story with such purpose, I hope that many others will follow his brave lead. This dramatic story of one athlete's life might be a turning point for football."--Peter King, NFL analyst, NBC SportsRyan O'Callaghan's plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself. Growing up in a politically conservative corner of California, the not-so-subtle messages he heard as a young man from his family and from TV and film routinely equated being gay with disease and death. Letting people in on the darkest secret he kept buried inside was not an option: better death with a secret than life as a gay man. As a kid, Ryan never envisioned just how far his football career would take him. He was recruited by the University of California, Berkeley, where he spent five seasons, playing alongside his friend Aaron Rodgers. Then it was on to the NFL for stints with the almost-undefeated New England Patriots and the often-defeated Kansas City Chiefs.Bubbling under the surface of Ryan's entire NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and his hidden drug use. When the league caught him smoking pot, he turned to NFL-sanctioned prescription painkillers that quickly sent his life into a tailspin. As injuries mounted and his daily intake of opioids reached a near-lethal level, he wrote his suicide note to his parents and plotted his death.Yet someone had been watching. A member of the Chiefs organization stepped in, recognizing the signs of drug addiction. Ryan reluctantly sought psychological help, and it was there that he revealed his lifelong secret for the very first time. Nearing the twilight of his career, Ryan faced the ultimate decision: end it all, or find out if his family and football friends could ever accept a gay man in their lives.

O'Callaghan, Ryan

Biographies & Memoirs

Edge of Sports

"Football gave Ryan O'Callaghan a scholarship to Cal and the chance to earn millions in the NFL, but it also afforded him something far more important: a place to hide. As a closeted gay man, his helmet and pads became tools of deception...O'Callaghan, who retired in 2011 after four seasons, eventually found the courage to live his truth in retirement. His memoir offers an unsparing look at the nexus of sexuality and football." --Sports Illustrated
"O'Callaghan came out as gay in 2017 after retiring from the league in 2011. Fearing condemnation while hiding his sexual orientation during a football career that spanned six seasons, O'Callaghan said he had regular suicidal thoughts while growing addicted to painkillers and he had elaborately planned his own death for retirement. In My Life On the Line, co-authored by Outsports co-founder Cyd Zeigler, O'Callaghan...credits then-Kansas City Chiefs executive Scott Pioli and Dr. Susan Wilson for saving his life once he came out to them." --USA Today
"In a new book due out in September, O'Callaghan discusses his life story, including the treatment he received from former teammates after coming out." --Boston Globe
"Former Patriots lineman Ryan O'Callaghan spent his entire career hiding his sexuality from his teammates, his friends and his family. He is now sharing that battle in his new book, My Life On The Line." --CBS Boston (WBZ TV)
"O'Callaghan believes the NFL is moving in the right direction with social issues, albeit slowly...O'Callaghan is part of that change. And that change saved his life." --Boston Globe, feature on Ryan O'Callaghan 
"As one of the few openly gay former U.S. players, O'Callaghan's goal became making it easier for future athletes to be open about their sexuality and gender identity well before they enter professional sports." --Reuters
"O'Callaghan is one of only a few openly gay former NFL players...In his upcoming memoir, My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life, O'Callaghan candidly discusses his addictions, mental health and struggles with his sexuality." --Washington Blade
Ryan O'Callaghan's plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself. Growing up in a politically conservative corner of California, the not-so-subtle messages he heard as a young man from his family and from TV and film routinely equated being gay with disease and death. Letting people in on the darkest secret he kept buried inside was not an option: better death with a secret than life as a gay man. As a kid, Ryan never envisioned just how far his football career would take him. He was recruited by the University of California, Berkeley, where he spent five seasons, playing alongside his friend Aaron Rodgers. Then it was on to the NFL for stints with the almost-undefeated New England Patriots and the often-defeated Kansas City Chiefs.
Bubbling under the surface of Ryan's entire NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and his hidden drug use. When the league caught him smoking pot, he turned to NFL-sanctioned prescription painkillers that quickly sent his life into a tailspin. As injuries mounted and his daily intake of opioids reached a near-lethal level, he wrote his suicide note to his parents and plotted his death.
Yet someone had been watching. A member of the Chiefs organization stepped in, recognizing the signs of drug addiction. Ryan reluctantly sought psychological help, and it was there that he revealed his lifelong secret for the very first time. Nearing the twilight of his career, Ryan faced the ultimate decision: end it all, or find out if his family and football friends could ever accept a gay man in their lives.

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Books by O'Callaghan, Ryan

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by O'Callaghan, Ryan. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life