Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilc

Biographies & Memoirs

Norton, Jim

Arts & Literature

Simon Spotlight Entertainment

A candid collection of essays of the comedian member of the Opie and Anthony Show features his observations about his public and private lives, from his stand-up appearances and legendary Voyeur Bus incident to his teen stint in rehab and his haphazard sexual forays.

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch

Simon & Schuster Audio

A Dublin Memoir

SHERIDAN, PETER

ISIS Publishing

When New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.
In thirty-five hilarious essays, New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.
But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.
Uncomfortably honest, I Hate Your Guts is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.
Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.
Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.
For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, I Hate Your Guts is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

I Hate Your Guts

GALLERY BOOKS

This New York Times bestselling author may hate your guts, but you’ll be laughing too hard to care in this blisteringly funny collection. What do Steve Martin, The Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. In his deviant pseudo-memoir Happy Endings, Norton delivered his uncensored and controversial brand of humor on everything from his affinity for hookers to his romantic woes. Now, he unflinchingly spews his thoughts on everyone from the bully he despises from high school, to Hillary Clinton and Al Sharpton. Offensive, brutally honest, and most important, sidesplittingly hilarious, I Hate Your Guts features 35 essays showcasing the candid, outrageous brand of dirty comedy that has earned him legions of devoted fans both on the radio and on the road.

A candid collection of essays of the comedian member of the Opie and Anthony Show features his observations about his public and private lives, from his stand-up appearances and legendary Voyeur Bus incident to his teen stint in rehab and his haphazard sexual forays. 100,000 first printing.

Jim Norton is a pervert in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy -- least of all himself. Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: from public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, and his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (a Monolith I'd Like to Forget). His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious. Filled with personal photos and nearly fifty candid and uncompromising essays, Happy Endings is one of a kind...and probably best read on an empty stomach.

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Computers & Technology

Web Development & Design

Jim Norton

The Way it Was... A Cop's Story: Volume 2

Literature & Fiction

Independently published

The Way It Was: A Cop's Story

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Norton, Jim. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Norton, Jim

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Norton, Jim. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilc

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch

A Dublin Memoir

I Hate Your Guts

I Hate Your Guts

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilc

Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch

How to start a Blog: Learn the Best Techniques to Start Blogging Now. Turn Your Fans into Your Passive Income

The Way it Was... A Cop's Story: Volume 2

The Way It Was: A Cop's Story