Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions.
Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn:
<ul>
<li>how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story</li>
<li>how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized</li>
<li>how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate</li>
<li>how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace</li>
<li>how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss</li>
<li>how "positive thinking" helps -- and harms</li>
<li>how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others</li>
</ul>
No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can’t avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving

Health, Fitness & Dieting

Lerner, Harriet

Mental Health

Harper

Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions. Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn: <ul>
<li>how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection - and what we can learn from his story 
</li>
<li>how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized 
</li>
<li>how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate 
</li>
<li>how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace 
</li>
<li>how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss 
</li>
<li>how "positive thinking" helps - and harms 
</li>
<li>how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others </li>
</ul>
No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we cant avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

Perennial Currents

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

Focuses on the anxiety that is born of unhappy relationships--with a loved one, best friend, or family member--and offers advice on how to improve relations

Self-Help

Relationships

Harpercollins

From the celebrated author of The Dance of Anger comes an extraordinary book about mothering and how it transforms us -- and all our relationships -- inside and out.
Writing from her dual perspective as psychologist and mother, Dr. Harriet Lerner puts the spotlight on how a woman is changed when she becomes a mother. Enlivened with personal tales and vivid case examples that run the gamut from hilarious to the heart-wrenching, The Mother Dance spells out what happens to a woman when two become three... and four. We see why her new life is so different from his -- and how children inevitably help us to discover things about ourselves and our partners that we would otherwise not know. Lerner shows us how kids call on us to grow up and are the best teachers of life's most profound spiritual lessons.
From birth to the empty nest, Lerner's own experience has taught her the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children; that most of what we worry about doesn't happen (though bad things happen that we fail to anticipate); and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them.
Lerner helps us to distinguish what we can change (and how to do it), and when we need to surrender to the fact that our lives -- and our children's -- may not go as we expect or plan. With the insight, warmth and clarity that characterize all of Lerner's work, here is a gloriously witty and moving book about what it means to dance the mother dance.

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

Psychology & Counseling

Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships.The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

When Katie, Rosie's big sister, tells Rosie that she will have tree branches growing from her ears because she ate an appleseed, Rosie does not see it as being all bad news and tries to imagine the benefits that can be had.

What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Appleseed

Children's Books

Literature & Fiction

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Franny B. Kranny's long, frizzy hair is big trouble. It ties itself in knots on the buttons of her dress and gets stuck in the refrigerator door! But Franny B. Kranny loves her hair. She refuses to cut it and is furious when she has to get a fancy new hairdo for a family reunion. Then a bird decides to make Franny B. Kranny's hair its home, and suddenly Franny B. Kranny starts to like her new hairdo....
Best-selling author and psychologist Harriet Lerner and her big sister, biologist Susan Goldhor, co-authored the children's book What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Apple Seed?. They team up again here with this hilarious and heartfelt story about daring to be different. World-renowned British illustrator Helen Oxenbury brings Franny B. Kranny, her wild hair, and her unique family delightfully to life.
Children's Choice Award winner for 2002.

Goldhor, Susan

Humor

Franny B. Kranny loved her long frizzy hair. 
The longer and frizzier it got, the more she liked it!

Bestselling author Harriet Lerner is at her provocative best in this examination of fear as the key motivating force in our lives.
 Often unrecognised, fear and shame drive our choices and attitudes in ways that most of us never figure out. As Lerner explains, fear is not an amorphous unknown to be transcended or overcome but an emotion to be recognized, explored, decoded and embraced. Once we befriend fear, it can actually help us achieve calm, clarity and fundamental peace.
 Lerner teaches us the best ways to deal with fear: to expect, allow, and accept its presence in our lives, to mindfully observe and attend to how it feels in our bodies and, ultimately to own it. We can become experts on our personal triggers of anxiety, learning when fear signals real danger and when it's best to plough through it because it comes with the territory of making necessary changes. The very worst thing we can do in the face of fear is to run from it or try to avoid it. Fear is not something to be conquered or eliminated––or even tackled, for that matter. Instead, we need to pay close attention to the message it is trying to convey.
 Using her wonderfully rich and inviting therapeutic voice along with personal memories and examples drawn from her practice, Lerner gives fear its due. We needn't let anxiety, fear, and shame silence our authentic voice, close our hearts to the different voices of others, or stop us from acting with dignity, integrity and brio. We need to harness fear and put it in service to our best selves.

Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling The Anxiety, Fear and Shame That Keep us From Optimal Living and Loving

HarperAudio

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. 
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception.
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

The Dance of Anger CD: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Lerner, Harriet. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Lerner, Harriet

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Lerner, Harriet. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving

The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

What's So Terrible About Swallowing an Appleseed

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Franny B. Kranny, There's a Bird in Your Hair!

Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling The Anxiety, Fear and Shame That Keep us From Optimal Living and Loving

The Dance of Anger CD: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships