Don't Point That Thing at Me

Kyril Bonfiglioli

Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

Penguin

Inspired by a shotgun-blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleer quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. ALL THE TEA IN CHINA follows his perilous journey across the globe, as Karli is confronted by mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new. And changes his name to Mortdecai. Addicts and newcomers alike will revel in this lusty tale of an ancestor of Charlie Mortdecai who helped make Britain great - for a price.

All the Tea in China

Literature & Fiction

Humor & Satire

Penguin Books, Ltd.

Something Nasty in the Woodshed - the third Charlie Mortdecai novel  'Splendidly enjoyable. The jokes are excellent, but the most horrible things keep happening'  Sunday Telegraph  'Spring was infesting the air in no uncertain fashion and I awoke, for once, with a feeling of well-being and an urge to go for long country walks.'  Charlie Mortdecai - minor aristocrat and art-dealer banished from London for crimes against, well, art - has decamped to the tiny island of Jersey with his wife Johanna and manservant Jock. There, amidst tax dodgers and inbred natives, he had hoped to lie low, and sink lower. But when a friend's wife is attacked, Charlie is forced to turn sleuth to discover the perpetrator. As further attacks occur, of an increasingly Satanic nature, Charlie finds he is desperate to solve the crimes before things turn truly Hellish . . .   'You couldn't snuggle under the duvet with anything more disreputable and delightful'  Stephen Fry  'A comic masterpiece . . . the Bonfiglioli revival will surly gather apace, for he is by far the best thing to have happened again in years'  Spectator  Kyril Bonfiglioli was born on the south coast of England in 1928 of an English mother and Italo-Slovene father. After studying at Oxford and five years in the army, he took up a career as an art dealer, like his eccentric creation Charlie Mortdecai. He lived in Oxford, Lancashire, Ireland and Jersey, where he died in 1985. He wrote four Charlie Mortdecai novels, and a fifth historical Mortdecai novel (about a distinguished ancestor).

Something nasty in the woodshed

Macmillan

Something Nasty in the Woodshed (Library Edition)

Mystery

Blackstone Audio,Inc.

Don’t Point that Thing at Me finds Charlie momentarily distracted by a police charge accusing him of stealing a priceless Goya—a nuisance that he overcomes without passing up a single glass of fine wine or plate of foie gras. In After You with a Pistol Mortdecai is roped into a marriage with a beautiful Viennese heiress, who is willing to blissfully accompany him on his life of taste and intrigue as long as he can help her with one little errand…assassinate the Queen of England. Something Nasty in the Woodshed features Charlie, exiled in London due to his growing unpopularity fueled by the aforementioned shady art deal, taking refuge on the island of Jersey. What begins as a epicurean interlude morphs into a macabre manhunt as Charlie seeks to expose a local rapist.

Mortdecai Trilogy

Black Spring Press Limited

<p><strong>In this hilarious novel, Bonfiglioli takes us back in time to an ironical maritime romp?Master and Commander by way of Monty Python.</strong></p> Inspired by a shotgun blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleef quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. He arrives in early Victorian London and soon he is turning a pretty profit. But Karli sees that true opportunity flowers in India's fields of opium poppies and the treaty ports of the China coast. So he takes a berth in an opium clipper hell-bent for the Indies. It is a journey beset with perils. Karli is confronted by the mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry, and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. He survives the malice of the Boers, the hospitality of anthropophagi, and the horrors of Lancashire cooking. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, dangerous friends and enemies, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new.

All The Tea In China Which Tells How Carolus Mortdecai Van Cleef Set Out To Seek His Fortune In Lond

Black Spring Press

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Books by Kyril Bonfiglioli