I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting

Karen Alpert

William Morrow

[*Read by the author - Karen Alpert]When your son wakes you up at 3:00 a.m. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. So it's only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can't because you'd go to prison, and then you'd really never get to poop alone again. Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.

I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You about Parenting

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

HarperCollins Publishers and Blackstone Audio

[*Read by the author - Karen Alpert] The New York Times bestselling author of I Heart My Little A-Holes and creator of the wildly popular Baby Sideburns parenting blog offers her brutally honest and hilarious take on parenting -- showing you that mediocre parents are awesome too. Moms and dads today worry they're bad parents. They see others on Facebook and Pinterest showing off their smiley, perfect, put-together spotless children creating masterworks of art in their gorgeously designed playrooms. They constantly hear moms brag about whipping up three-course gourmet dinners while their kids sit quietly reading books far beyond their grade level. They read posts from parents complaining that they can't get their daughter to eat her French fries because she's too full from broccoli. But Karen Alpert knows this is not reality. Despite what you hear and read every day, you do not need to be perfect to be a kickass parent. Parenting is messy. Parenting is hard. Parenting brings out the best AND the worst in adults. And some of the best parents in the world are mediocre parents. Karen proudly admits she's a mediocre parent, and in I Want My Epidural Back she'll make you believe that ''mediocre parents are awesome too.'' Karen shares her honest, crass, pee-in-your-pants-funny observations, stories, quips, and essays on discipline, potty training, eating, sleeping, and more that will make you laugh and have you nodding your head in recognition. Observing the world of parents and children through her edgy and unique perspective, Karen brings reality into focus, reminding moms and dads everywhere to celebrate and embrace their own not-so-perfect-yet-totally-wonderful parenthood.

I Want My Epidural Back: Adventures in Mediocre Parenting

HarperCollins Publishing and Blackstone Audio

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Books by Karen Alpert