The Burned Out Old Broads at Table 12: Murder at Meadow Lakes Perculator Rasmussen lay face-down, spread-eagled on the dining room floor of Meadow Lakes Retirement Community. The back of his head was smashed in, his throat was cut, a nylon cord was around his neck. There was a bullet hole in his jacket and a knife in his back. "Are we sure he's dead?" Mary Rose McGill asked. "If he isn't," Wiley Vondra said. "He'd better have damn good insurance." And so our story begins... It's a story so funny tears will run down your leg. "The Boob Girls are the GOOD Girls" - Phyllis Diller, actress and comidienne

The BOOB Girls IV: Murder at Meadow Lakes

Joy Johnson Brown

Centering Corporation

Ten Little, Nine Little, EIght Little Puritans. And then there were none! When the haunted Bed and Breakfast in Salem's Crossing, Nebraska, fills up with Puritan Descendants coming to a reunion, the BOOB Girls venture in to help their old nemesis, Scooter McKooter. They admire the ten little Puritan dolls on display near the dining room entrance, and when the real Puritans - Diewell Barebones, Patience Evenow, Abstinence Evermore and others come to check in, those little dolls begin to disappear. Worse yet, so do the Puritans. After Mary Rose McGill becomes a kidnap victim herself, the chaos begins. With the help of Geoffrey the mastiff, the girls "sniff" out the clues and find that even a place as far away as Butch Sleezer's Fertility Clinic can house then evict questionable characters. Who done it? Who is really driving the expensive carriage pulled by the black horse that elicits deep growls from Geoffrey and curiosity from the girls? And what about the mysterious writer appearing at the Shut Up And Drink Tavern? It's another fun read in the comedy-myster series, The BOOB Girls: The Burned Out Old Broads at Table 12. Never underestimate a Burned Out Old Broad!

The BOOB Girls VII: Ten Little Puritans

Nursery Rhymes can make testy crimes. Here we learn about Jack Spratt, Jack and a Candlestick, a little girl with a little curl, and more characters who flew in with Mother Goose. Hadley Joy Morris-Whitfield, Marge Aaron, Robinson Leary and Mary Rose McGill are caught up in Baby Doll Pajamas when Wee Willie Winkie designs a line of nightwear for seasoned women called "Winkies." A murderer, Dr. Fell, is on the loose. Alphonso Greatwood calls in a former fellow linebacker, Raven, to provide security to Meadow Lakes Retirement Community, but during an extravagant fashion show of Winkies, everything goes wrong. Once again - if you don't laugh out loud, you get your money back.

The BOOB Girls VIII: Learning to Love Willie

She started to turn toward the door, red cane over her arm, when Alphonso grabbed her hand. She turned and looked at him, and then he did something totally unexpected. He turned his chair toward her and patted his lap. "Sit down, lady," he said softly. Marge looked at him, then at his lap, then, with a delicate move for a large lady, she gently sat on the big man's lap. He turned her face toward him to kiss her on the lips. First, they heard the tall, adjustable base of the over-priced chair crack loudly. Then they heard the four wheels splay flat out, then they heard their own laughter as they fell on top of each other onto the floor. A loud crash echoed through the big office as four hundred pounds of human beings and the big chair hit the floor. Alphonso laughed a deep, hearty laugh and then turned toward Marge whose sweat shirt had pulled up, showing her bra, and whose face was slowly turning red. Alphonso looked at that face, smiled, turned toward her and gave her a sweet, gentle kiss on the lips. Marge kissed him back. Way to go.

The Burned Out Old Broads IX: In Training Bras Broomsticks, Rats and Snakes

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

Centering Corpoation

Product Description We have to go to Alaska, Marge Aaron, retired homicide detective said. No, we don t, five voices answered her. But they do. The Burned Out Old Broads at table 12: Hadley, Robbie and Mary Rose, along with Wiley Vondra Alphonso Greatwood, and Geoffrey the Mastiff, take the long trek up the Alcan Highway to rescue Marge s cousin, Buckshot Betsy Bushwhacker from a murder charge. Betsy shot her lover, PickAxe Pete, through the door. That s better than shootin him through the balls, she says. But there are hidden Jewels in the mines of the old gold town, a creepy bed and breakfast and someone in Muk-Luks is following them and lurking around more than one corner. Will they even get back to Meadow Lakes Retirement community? Who knows? About the Author Joy Johnson (Brown) is 80 years old now! With her late husband, Dr. Marvin Johnson, she founded Centering Corporation, North America s oldest and largest bereavement Resource Center, and Grief s Journey, a Center for Grieving Children in Omaha, Nebraska. She has written or edited over 100 books on grief, many for children. After she retired from Centering Corporation in 2009, she began writing The BOOB Girls: The Burned Out Old Broads at Table 12. There are now ten books in the series.

The Boob Girls X: Gospel Bird

It s Omaha, 1898, and the huge Trans-Mississippi Exposition has opened, taking up blocks of the city and attracting six million visitors. Also visiting are the BOOB Girls, Wiley Vondra, Alphonso Greatwood and Geoffrey the mastiff. When a gun is found in the roots of a 100-year-old crabapple tree at Marks Bistro, the girls lunch is interrupted when they are whisked back in time to 1898 to solve the mystery of who used the gun on whom, what they did with the body and then planted the evidence. In addition to this being a BOOB Girls adventure, it is also a panoramic picture of Omaha in 1898. At that time, Omaha was known as a dirty, wicked town. Our friends discover how it got that name.

The Boob Girls XI-The Gun Found at Marks

This is the last book in Joy Johnson Brown's comedy-mystery series, The BOOB Girls: The Burned Out Old Broads at Table 12. The girls, Marge, Hadley, Mary Rose, and Robbie have aged along with the rest of us. The boys, Wiley, Alphonso, Raven, and the over-sized, ugly-cute mastiff, Gregory, sport creaking joints, and stiff muscles as well. This delightful, laugh-out-loud tale, with an occasional tear now and then, provides a fun mystery complete with a "dead in the shed" body, a leprechaun, and a team of kicking mules. The single best part of this classic novel? -the entire cast of characters from all twelve books show up at the end of a Norman Rockwell winter wedding. You'll get your own wedding invitation, so be ready, as always, to cry at a good wedding.

The Boob Girls XII

Centering

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