Let's Pretend This Never Happened. by Jamie Kelly [I.E. Jim Benton]

Jim Benton

Puffin Books

My Pants Are Haunted. Jim Benton

Children's Books

More of the (nearly) true and absolutely hilarious confessions of Jamie Kelly ...Jamie's best friend is planning to display a picture of Jamie next to her disgustingly stinky beagle, as part of a project to show how pets look like their people. Gee, thanks. And her mum, in a twisted plot created by the school dinner ladies, has been asked to cook meatloaf for the whole school. Mum's cooking - known for its ability to poison anyone who touches it. Mum's meatloaf - the food that even Stinker turns his nose up at. Can Jamie survive the shame?

Am I the Princess or the Frog?. by Jim Benton

Teen & Young Adult

It's Not My Fault I Know Everything

The Frandidate

Read the hilarious, candid (&amp; sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out!

Let's Pretend This Never Happened (Dear Dumb Diary, No. 1)

Literature & Fiction

scholastic

My Pants Are Haunted! (Dear Dumb Diary, No. 2)

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)?

Humor

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be. Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Am I the Princess or the Frog? (Dear Dumb Diary, No. 3)

Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways &amp; becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?

Never Do Anything, Ever (Dear Dumb Diary, No. 4)

The Invisible Fran (Franny K. Stein: Mad Scientist, No. 3)

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Books by Jim Benton