“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” —Bradley Sands, author of TV Snorted My Brain Within the whacked-out worlds of these twisted tales, only one thing remains the same: Everything is better when laced with the tears of a clown… When a sexually adventurous couple decides to spice things up by bringing bees into the mix, they learn it’s never wise to dial 811 in case of an emergency. A deadbeat dad gains employment as a lady-in-waiting in a fairytale bromance where every character looks exactly like someone else from John Carpenter’s The Thing. The unknowing victim of a cruel prank, a simpleton spends his entire life waiting on a park bench for the hottest girl in school. Using only his twenty-sided die and good old-fashioned D&D magic, a man must continually resurrect the neighborhood kid regularly murdered on his own front lawn. An aging slaughterhouse worker and the iconic figure from Edvard Munch’s The Scream hit the clubs every weekend in a vain attempt to get laid. These and many more absurdities await in Clown Tear Junkies, the debut collection from Douglas Hackle.

Clown Tear Junkies

Literature & Fiction

Hackle, Douglas

Humor & Satire

Rooster Republic Press

Forty-year-old Glont Lamont is a longtime employee of Fun 4-Life Corporation, where he gets paid good money to play videos games, watch TV, get drunk, get high, devour pizza, ride the company roller coaster, take long-ass naps, and toss off like a madman in an insane asylum. There's only one problem: Glont's sick of his job! Nowadays, all he really wants to do is work long, grueling shifts 7-days-a-week doing any sort of awful, backbreaking, tedious, demoralizing, soul-crushing, severely undercompensated labor. But with Halloween just a few days away, Glont has more important things to worry about than his workplace woes. Namely, he must take his two "freak" nephews out reverse trick-or-treating, which is a form of annual ritualistic tribute whereby the cruel townspeople force his nephews to walk door-to-door on Halloween night to hand out candy to people instead of receiving candy themselves. And this year, the last stop on the trio's reverse trick-or-treating itinerary is Fallingwater--built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright's world-famous architectural masterpiece is now closed to the public and allegedly haunted by an evil supernatural entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN... "Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today." -Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High "...the best bizarro absurdist in the business." -Amy M. Vaughn, author of Skull Nuggets

TERROR MANNEQUIN

Independently published

The Ballad of TERROR TINY TIM & Other Tales of Unkindness

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