Uproarious collection of criminal bozos and their foolish stories.

The Dumbest Crook Book

Gregory, Leland

Scholastic. Inc.

Here is the utterly amazing, laugh-out loud scoop on the local, state, and federal foul-ups supported by your tax dollars. From Washington D.C. to Small Town, U.S.A., you can count on one thing from our government...Bloopers! A federal computer glitch listed everyone in Hartford, Connecticut as dead.

Great Government Goofs: Over 350 Loopy Laws, Hilarious Screw-Ups and Acts-Idents of Congress

Humor & Entertainment

Humor

Dell

Presumed Ignorant

Oyez! Oyez! Here comes a hilarious expose of the most bizarre, outrageous, and hilarious acts ever perpetrated in the halls of justice. From the dumbest defenses ever dreamed up to the silliest law suits ever filed, it's an open and shut case of the law at its most lunatic.A Connecticut law forbids the sale of pickles which break or squish when dropped from one foot above the ground. "They should remain whole and even bounce." A defendant accused of theft showed up in court wearing his best suit in order to make a good impression. His dapper duds impressed the plaintiff most--the custom-made suit had been stolen from him! It is illegal for any driver of an automobile to be blindfolded while operating the vehicle in Birmingham, Alabama. A New York City inmate sued the correctional system for $8.5 million in damages because he smuggled a gun into prison--and then accidentally shot himself. And much, much more...Presumed Ignorant will make you laugh out loud at hundreds of the zaniest examples of our legal system in action.

Presumed Ignorant!: Over 400 Cases of Legal Looniness, Daffy Defendants, and Bloopers from the Bench

Over 250 outrageous acts, scandalous shenanigans, and risqué romps in the Oval Office! One president and one vice president died with their mistresses at their side. 32nd president Franklin Roosevelt’s mistress had to be whisked away from his deathbed before his wife, Eleanor, arrived, and VP Nelson Rockefeller expired during an intimate moment with his inamorata. When 29th president Warren G. Harding was short of funds during his twice-a-week poker games, he routinely anted up with pieces of White House china. As a joke, 7th president Andrew Jackson sent a mother-and-daughter prostitute team an invitation to the annual presidential Christmas party. With refreshing honesty, 36th president Lyndon Baines Johnson said to the press, “Of course, I may go into a strange bedroom every now and then that I don’t want you to know about, but otherwise you can write everything.” In a historic DUI, 14th president Franklin Pierce, losing a battle with the bottle, was arrested by Washington police when he drunkenly ran over an old lady—with his horse! And scores of other wild, weird, and downright dizzying deeds of America’s presidents in action!

Presidential Indiscretions: The Unofficial, Unexpurgated Guide to Naughty Behavior Kept Under Wraps (or Under the Covers) by the White House!

Random House Publishing Group

From the hit syndicated television show come 200 stories of fumbling felons, clumsy crooks, and ridiculous robbers—all the crimes are true, but the names have been changed to protect the stupid!

America's Dumbest Criminals

Butler, Daniel

Ray, Alan

Gramercy

Bt Bound

Faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up to What's the Number for 911 with more real-life calls to the country's emergency operators. What's the Number for 911 Again' answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. "Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house" "Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree" Amazing and hilarious!

What'S The Number For 911 Again?

Andrews McMeel Publishing

What's the strangest question employers have been asked during an interview? Among the responses: * What is it you people do at this company? * Why aren't you in a more interesting business? * Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland? * Does you company have a policy regarding concealed weapons? --from Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity Leland Gregory once thought crooks, politicians, and lawyers were the greatest nitwits out there, but it turns out that the working masses are packed with the dumb, dumber, and dumbest humans on the face of the planet. Gregory's look at nincompoops, Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity, makes it crystal clear that the world's biggest jerks are on the job. Consider these examples: * The woman who sued Eastman Kodak to improve the lighting conditions on her job...in a darkroom? * The Ontario Federation of Labor, which installed a bad boss hotline to get a handle on labor problems--only to have the system crash soon after startup because too many calls came in. * The interviewee who wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Gregory has made a career out of finding the imbeciles of the world and sharing their antics with the rest of us. His AMP humor compilations What's the Number for 911?, What's the Number for 911 Again?, The Stupid Crook Book, and Hey, Idiot! were all hilarious, but Idiots at Work takes the cake. The book is filled with hilarious tales of moronic managers, office idiots, stupid shareholders, daft decision-makers, poor planners, and other outstanding examples of cubical klutzes.

Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity

"It's important for people to know that I'm the president of everybody." --President George W. Bush, from Air Force One, January 14, 2005 Who Leland Gregory voted for in the 2004 presidential election is his business. But when George W. Bush won a second term, Gregory had to be doing cartwheels around his computer. The humorist, after all, makes a career of recording human behavior at, let's just say, its less-than-brilliant moments. Bush-Whacked does a thorough job of tracking the president's language mangling as well as the inept bungling of his administration: * "And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings . . ." --GWB at Fort Belvoir, Va., December 21, 2004. * Through bureaucratic mismanagement, parts for a top-secret spy plane, originally intended for destruction, were discovered being auctioned off on eBay. --New York Post * "(T)he illiteracy level of our children are appalling." --GWB, Washington, D.C., January 23, 2004 With his expert nose for nuttiness, Gregory includes numerous perplexing quotes, wacky anecdotes, and weird one-liners in this hysterical collection. This isn't the president at his finest, just Dubya at his funniest.

Bush-Whacked: Chronicles of Government Stupidity

Why exactly is Paul Revere revered? Was the lightbulb really Thomas Edison's bright idea? * Best-selling author Leland Gregory employs his masterful wit to expose historical myths, faux "facts," strange events, and tales of human stupidity throughout history. If it would shock you to learn that Benjamin Franklin didn't discover electricity, you'll appreciate this take on hundreds of historical legends and debacles. Historians and humorists alike may be surprised to learn that: * Samuel Prescott made the famous horseback ride into Concord, not Paul Revere. * As a member of Parliament, Isaac Newton spoke only once. He asked for an open window. * On April 24, 1898, Spain declared war on the U.S., thus starting the Spanish-American War. The U.S. declared war the very next day, but not wanting to be outdone, had the date on the declaration changed from April 25 to April 21. With these and many other stories, leading humorist Leland Gregory once again highlights both the strange and the funny side of humankind.

Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages (Volume 2)

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Books by Gregory, Leland