What happens when those two most incompatible of creatures—the human male and the human female—settle down for a life of togetherness and arguments about the toilet seat? Award-winning comedian Jeff Green bravely sets out to discover the truth. Why is, "Wow, you're a fantastic cleaner," not considered a compliment? And what is it about women and candles? Along the way he offers helpful advice, handy tips, and essential buys. Whether you're hopelessly coupled or gratefully single, The A-Z of Living Together has all the answers you need.

The A-Z of Living Together

Humor & Entertainment

Green, Jeff

Humor

Little, Brown Book Group

Congratulations! You’re having a baby! Or maybe you’re a proud parent, holding terror? But don’t panic! Real help is at hand, in the form of new dad and award-winning comedian Jeff Green. Let him guide you through the late nights, the stretch marks, and the hemorrhoids (and that’s just the dads), and reassure you that you are not alone. So Dad, if you’re suffering from father blues (the slow realization that all your vacations will now be at Center Parcs), and Mom, if you are still miffed that your partner kept just out of punching range during childbirth, then this book is most definitely for you. Because it’s not just babies who have teething problems.

The A-Z of Having a Baby: A Survival Guide

1987 Green book: Songs classified by subject

Professional Desk References

The Green Book of Songs by Subject: The Thematic Guide to Popular Music

Arts & Photography

Music

Professional Desk References I

This reference categorizes some 35,000 popular songs spanning 100 years of music into 1,800 themes, such as advice, men, women, love, countries, animals, love, God, and the police. All genres of music are covered, including popular standards, contemporary hits, oldies, rock, country, R&amp;B, rap, hip hop, jazz, reggae, new age, and even television themes, children's songs, and advertising jingles. Each entry includes a brief discography. The book can be useful for radio and TV stations, ad agencies, film music supervisors, musicians, music librarians, researchers, and record collectors. This edition offers an improved index of subject keywords, concepts, and synonyms. Green is executive editor for the trade publication Radio &amp; Records . Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)

Professional Desk References Inc

This book assists readers in understanding the real-life dilemmas law enforcement officers confront throughout their careers. The scenarios are riveting, and the discussion points force readers to consider the myriad options officers face in these dilemmas. One thing is certain as made clear by the decision points in every chapter—ethical decision-making is an extraordinarily difficult endeavor in the law enforcement profession. "Decision Point" focuses on the individual officer in the middle of each situation, while making it clear that the broader culture and traditions of the agency play a major role in helping the officer make the right decision. This text therefore provides value to a wide audience, including those in entry level through supervisory and management level training programs. On many levels, Jeff Green’s text is a major contribution to the policing profession.

Decision Point: Real-Life Ethical Dilemmas in Law Enforcement

Green Ph.D., Jeffrey L.

Criminal Law

Glocal Press

DISC 17: DISC Behavioral Model Self-Assessment

Self-Help

Relationships

Come walk with this Marine as he describes some of the memorable moments of his "totally normal" familys upbringing. Discover why he thinks he can hear ants. Learn how describing the subtle nuances of fine dining and the proper use of a salad fork can be humorous. And laugh with him as he learns that his daughter is being detained by the SWAT team. Yes sir, just another ordinary day in the life of a Marine.

I Hear Ants: And Other Silly Stories of a Funny Man

Parenting & Relationships

Outskirts Press

"Haze gray and underway," as the saying goes. Join Jeff (again) as he continues to spin his yarns. This time, Jeff will take you with him as he describes his first sea-going adventure on board the U.S.S. Tripoli, LPH-10 as a United States Marine. The story takes an inner look at what it was like for Marines to be onboard a warship during the height of the Cold War. It describes how they dealt with a daily operational tempo through practice, routine, discipline, and a sense of mischievousness that only other Marines could appreciate. You will learn how Marines learn to have fun while dealing with: Disorientation, heat stroke, and seasickness; Long hours, bad food, and no water; Cramped quarters, and boredom. And that only covered the first week of the six month adventure. Jeff also describes what happens when Marines are loosed upon native populations during liberty calls in the various exotic ports of the Western Pacific. He gives a hint of an answer to the age old question, "Does the sailor have a girl in every port?" Even after the story ends, you are left with a feeling that there is more to come. In fact, you may even be looking forward to it.

From the Decks of Tripoli: Seasick Stories of a Little Green Book

Jeff Green has returned, once again, to share a few more of the stories that continue to make him the conversation piece at the end of the bar. You may remember some of his humorous antics from his other books: I Hear Ants and From the Decks of Tripoli. While the stories might appear to be typical of any growing family, Jeff's unique way of allowing his family and friends to be laughed at, provides a unique and fun perspective. In this book, he includes stories on: 
- Raising the instant family, (just add "I Do"); - Camping, (and we don't mean Marine-style); - Owning a boat, (or at least the expense of); - Working for a living, (in the days of the Millennial).
The situations encountered on the surface appear to be totally normal, but when Jeff gets done with telling it, three things will be for sure.
- You will be glad you are not in his shoes; - You will be sure to talk about it late; - You will be wishing there was more. 
Come to think of it, you may even relate with stories of your own, but don't start writing, Jeff doesn't need the competition.

By the Way, I Quit! Silly Ramblings of an Old(er) Man

Biographies & Memoirs

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Books by Green, Jeff