Kinky Friedman is back with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out, and gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities, from people he's known -- Bill Clinton and George W. to Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan, not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus -- to people he's known in spirit -- Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House to marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, cigars, and the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations"* that are present in all his other work.
Hilarious and irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.
*Rocky Mountain News (Denver)

'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out: Reflections on Country Singers, Presidents, and Other Troublemakers

Humor & Entertainment

Friedman, Kinky

Humor

William Morrow

Kinky Friedman is back, and with 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out he gets it on with all manner of egos. In this collection of twisted takes on life, the Kinkster gives us funny, irreverent, and insightful looks at outsized personalities from people he's known, like Bill Clinton, George W., Willie Nelson, and Bob Dylan - not to mention Joseph Heller and Don Imus - to people he's known in spirit, such as Moses, Jesus, Jack Ruby, and Hank Williams. With his meditations on subjects ranging from sleeping at the White House, marriage, his pets, fishing in Borneo, country music, and cigars to the tribulations of possessing talent, Kinky doesn't deny us the "flashes of brilliance and laugh-out-loud observations" (Rocky Mountain News) that are present in all his other work. Hilarious, irreverent, and passionately twisted, 'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out reads as if it were written by a slightly ill modern-day Mark Twain.

Biographies & Memoirs

Arts & Literature

William Morrow Paperbacks

Walter Snow is doomed. He stares at the blank pages in his typewriter, hoping for the spark that will finally ignite his ambition to write the Great Armenian Novel. And then he meets Clyde Potts. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, perhaps psychic, and, for better or worse, very possibly unbalanced. With Pottss joie de vivre and her certified-insane partner in crime, Fox Harris, Snow is caught up in a series of pranks against corporate sprawl that they execute with a bit of booze and some wacky tobaccy from Australia known as Malabimbi Madness. Things quickly spin out of control as the trios ultimate, diuretically inspired prank leads to an unexpected, shocking conclusion, and Walter is left to wonder if the only things you ever keep in this life are the things you let slip through your fingers.

Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned: A Novel

Literature & Fiction

Dramas & Plays

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. and Willie Nelson is the essential how-to for surviving in the Lone Star State. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" (in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour) and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike. Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo - or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus - you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading!

Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth

There is—and could only ever be—one Billy Bob Thornton: actor, musician, Academy Award-winning screenwriter, and accidental Hollywood badass. In The Billy Bob Tapes, he leads us into his Cave Full of Ghosts, spinning colorful tales of his modest (to say the least) Southern upbringing, his bizarre phobias (komoda dragons?), his life, his loves (including his marriage to fellow Oscar winner Angelina Jolie), and, of course, his movie career. Best of all, he’s feeding these truly incredible stories and righteous philosophical rants through his close friend, Kinky Friedman—legendary country music star, bestselling author, would-be politician, and all-around bon vivant. Put these two iconoclasts together and you get a star’s story that’s actually an insightful pop culture manifesto—a hybrid offspring of Born Standing Up with Sh*t My Dad Says.

The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Ghosts

Thornton, Billy Bob

Reference

You won't see no sad and teary eyes when I get my wings, and it's my time to fly Just call my friends and tell them there's a party, come on by So just roll me up and smoke me when I die
In Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die, Willie Nelson muses about his greatest influences and celebrates the family, friends, and colleagues who have blesses his remarkable journey. Willie riffs on music, wives, Texas, politics, horses, religion, marijuana, children, the environment, poker, hogs, Nashville, karma, and more. He shares the outlaw wisdom he has acquired over eight decades, along with favorite jokes and insights. Rare family pictures, beautiful artwork created by his son Micah Nelson, and lyrics to classic songs punctuate these charming and poignant memories.
At once a road journal and a fitting tribute to America's greatest traveling bard, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die—introduced by Kinky Friedman, another favorite son of Texas—is a deeply personal look into the heart and soul of one of the greatest artists of our time.

Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die: Musings from the Road

Nelson, Willie

Walter Snow is doomed. Living on a string of Camel cigarettes, too many cups of coffee, and bouts of masturbation in his Greenwich Village basement apartment, the writer and recovering alcoholic has been blocked. He stares at the blank pages in his typewriter for longer than he cares to admit, hoping for the spark that will finally fulfill his ambition to write The Great Armenian Novel.
And then he meets Clyde Potts. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, perhaps psychic and, for better or worse, very possibly unbalanced. With Potts's joie de vivre and her certified insane partner in crime, Fox Harris, Snow is caught up in a series of pranks against corporate sprawl that they execute with a bit of booze, and some wacky tobaccy from Australia known as Malabimbi Madness. 
But things quickly spin out of control as the trio's ultimate diuretically inspired prank leads to an unexpected, shocking conclusion, and Walter is left to wonder if the only things you ever keep in this life are the things you let slip through your fingers.
A tale of the nature of sanity, the cost of inspiration, and the art and business of creativity, Kill Two Birds &amp; Get Stoned has the absurd and provocative hijinks that could have only come from the fertile, frenzied mind of veteran soul Kinky Friedman.

Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned

Humor & Satire

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Kinky Friedman is back and at his outrageous best in this hilarious guide to the Lone Star State. With George W. Bush in the White House, Americans are taking a second look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. As the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate, Kinky considers it his duty to educate Texans and non-Texans alike about the customs and habits of his native state. You'll never look at Texas the same way again after you encounter the real-life characters in Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette -- from hometown heroes and outlaws to rich Texas oilmen and country stars, Kinky provides an insider's view of his state's customs, history, and values.
Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette is composed of provocative essays and profiles, from "Shoshone The Magic Pony" to "Willie Nelson: The Back Of The Bus." Take Kinky's quiz and find out: "Redneck, Good Old Boy, Or Oilman: What Kind Of Texan Are You?" Read this book and you will learn how to spot a Texan abroad, which famous Texans are not from Texas, how Texas got its Lone Star, and the history of Texans' favorite drink, Dr Pepper. Filled with hair-raising quotes from Texas politicians, Ace Reid cartoons, strange Texas laws, and final meal requests by Texas death row inmates, this good-spirited book will be loved by both native Texans and the rest of us poor devils.

Texas Hold 'Em: How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad

"Texas Hold 'Em is more than just a card game. It deals…with that fine, forgotten art of playing a poor hand well…Texas Hold 'Em is a state of mind, a spiritual survival technique, a way of holding on to things that might just be important in this ever-changing world." --from the introduction to Texas Hold 'Em The irrepressible, future Governor of Texas is back with a crusade to stop the wussification of the Lone Star State. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd miss gun racks in the back windows of pickup trucks, but he almost does. He misses the days when cowboy shirts never had buttons and coffee with a friend was still a dime. Many of the stubborn, dusty, weather-beaten little towns, roads, trucks, jeeps, people and animals are gone now. Like it or not, the peaceful, scenic bucolic Hill Country of his childhood is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. His is at his outrageous best as he gives Americans a look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. Texas Hold 'Em is composed of provocative essays, including autobiographical pieces that are at times bittersweet and at other hilarious, profiles of such stellar Texans as his friend, Willie Nelson, as you've never seen him before, George W. Bush, and Racehorse Haynes, and a treasure trove of lists, quizzes , including: If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a Texan Tex My ride Texas Firsts What Kind of Texas Driver Are you? As an added diversion, the book is decorated with cartoons by the brilliant John Callahan, particularly appealing to those whose lives are spiraling downward into tailspins of despair. Texas Hold 'Em is the way in which the Kinkster plays the game of life. To him, Texas Hold' Em means holding on to what is dear to him, to the things that made him who he is, always remembering that the most important things in life aren't things. An old cowboy philosophy of life sums it up -- "hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck."

History

Americas

St.Martin's Press

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Friedman, Kinky. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by Friedman, Kinky

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Friedman, Kinky. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out: Reflections on Country Singers, Presidents, and Other Troublemakers

'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out: Reflections on Country Singers, Presidents, and Other Troublemakers

Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned: A Novel

Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth

The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Ghosts

The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Ghosts

Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die: Musings from the Road

Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned

Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette: Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth

Texas Hold 'Em: How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad