An Englishman, a French woman -- and a whole lot of merde... The hilarious new novel from the bestselling author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French. Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going très wrong. He's stuck in an apartment so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen. His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike -- and it could be all his fault. His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his female employees is a basic human right. And Paul's gorgeous ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him. Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankrupcy, Paul realises that his personal merde factor is about to hit the fan.

The Merde Factor: Paul West 5

CLARKE, STEPHEN

Literature & Fiction

Arrow

The entertaining biography of Edward VII and his playboy lifestyle, by the author of A Year in the Merde
Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France. He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans, and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the Eiffel Tower with Gustave Eiffel, in defiance of an official English ban on his visit. He turned his French seduction skills into the diplomatic prowess that sealed the Entente Cordiale. A quintessentially English king? Pas du tout! Stephen Clarke argues that as "Dirty Bertie," Edward learned all the essentials in life from the French.

Dirty Bertie: An English King Made in France

Biographies & Memoirs

Historical

The entertaining biography of Edward VII and his playboy lifestyle, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde
Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France. He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the Eiffel Tower with Gustave Eiffel, in defiance of an official English ban on his visit. He turned his French seduction skills into the diplomatic prowess that sealed the Entente Cordiale. A quintessentially English king? Pas du tout! Stephen Clarke argues that as "Dirty Bertie," Edward learned all the essentials in life from the French.

Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.
Two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo, the French are still in denial.
If Napoleon lost on 18 June 1815 (and that's a big 'if'), then whoever rules the universe got it wrong. As soon as the cannons stopped firing, French historians began re-writing history. The Duke of Wellington was beaten, they say, and then the Prussians jumped into the boxing ring, breaking all the rules of battle. In essence, the French cannot bear the idea that Napoleon, their greatest-ever national hero, was in any way a loser. Especially not against the traditional enemy – les Anglais.
Stephen Clarke has studied the French version of Waterloo, as told by battle veterans, novelists, historians – right up to today's politicians, and he has uncovered a story of pain, patriotism and sheer perversion ...

How the French Won Waterloo (or Think They Did)

History

Europe

Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.      In France, Waterloo is still an open wound. The French know they lost, but they can't believe it, and think they were robbed. Two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo -- June 18, 1815 -- the French believe that whoever rules the universe got it wrong when Napoleon had victory snatched from his grasp. They are suffering in very much the same way as the English about almost every World Cup defeat to Germany since 1966. The Prussian General Blücher, arriving at the last minute to save Wellington from imminent defeat, was clearly offside and his goal really shouldn't have been allowed. Behind all the serious historical analysis, it honestly is that simple.     How the French Really Won Waterloo re-examines Waterloo, and France's feelings about it. Napoleon is a national hero, he was a winner, not a loser -- mais bien sûr!

Based loosely on his own experiences and with names changed to "avoid embarrassment, possible legal action—and to prevent the author’s legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit (or quite possibly, a Christian Dior skirt)," A Year in the Merde is the almost true account of Paul West’s adventures as an expat in Paris. 
Brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British tea rooms, Paul, a twenty-seven-year-old Brit, soon finds himself managing a group of lazy, grumbling French employees, manoeuvring around a slick, treacherous Parisian boss, and lucking into a succession of lusty girlfriends (one of whom happens to be the boss’s morally challenged daughter). Immersed in the contradictions of French culture, he learns how to get the best out of the grumpiest Parisian waiter, how to survive a French business meeting, and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.

Year in the Merde

Humor & Satire

Penguin Canada

After his disastrous American adventures, Paul West is back in France, and this time he’ll be kicking up merde all along the Cote d’Azur. Hooking up with an English girl nicknamed M that he met in Vegas, it’s a peaceful working holiday—at first. Suddenly, M becomes secretive, going off to meetings and overreacting to questions about her whereabouts. Then, a bombshell. While M is at one of her meetings, Paul is told that she is not who she seems to be. That she is involved in a plot so sinister that she and Paul’s every move has been watched since they arrived. And if Paul doesn’t agree to stick with M and find out who she’s working for, then he’s going to prison for a long, long time as an accomplice. Suddenly the Cote d’Azur doesn’t feel quite so sunny…

Dial M for Merde

Mystery, Thriller & Suspense

Mystery

A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions: 
What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why do French job applicants put sexually transmitted diseases on their CVs? Why are there no public health warnings on French nudist beaches? And how do you cope with a plague of courgettes? Paul also mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter, samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons, and on a return visit to the United Kingdom, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. But will Paul find l'amour eternel, or will it all end in merde?

Merde Actually

Englishman Paul West is in deep financial merde. 
His only way out of debt is to accept a decidedly dodgy job touring America in a Mini, while pretending to be typically British. Also in the car is Paul’s French girlfriend, Alexa, and his American poet friend, Jake, whose main aim in life is to sleep with a woman from every country in the world. Preferably in the back of Paul’s Mini. But as the little car battles from New York to Miami, and then heads west, leg-room turns out to be the least of Paul’s troubles. His work is being sabotaged, his tour plans are in tatters and his love life becomes a Franco-American war zone. And as Paul knows better than anyone, when you mix love and war—merde happens…

Merde Happens

Five articles examine recent developments in English instruction and explores what the curriculum might look like in the year 2010, emphasizing the changing nature of texts and technology and our understanding of how they are used. Distributed by Taylor & Francis. Annotation c. by Book News, Inc., Portland, Or.

English for Tomorrow (ENGLISH, LANGUAGE, AND EDUCATION SERIES)

Reference

Adams, Anthony

Scrimshaw, Peter

Walton, Shona

Foreign Language Study & Reference

Open Univ Pr

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by CLARKE, STEPHEN. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Books by CLARKE, STEPHEN

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by CLARKE, STEPHEN. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

The Merde Factor: Paul West 5

Dirty Bertie: An English King Made in France

Dirty Bertie: An English King Made in France

How the French Won Waterloo (or Think They Did)

How the French Won Waterloo (or Think They Did)

Year in the Merde

Dial M for Merde

Merde Actually

Merde Happens

English for Tomorrow (ENGLISH, LANGUAGE, AND EDUCATION SERIES)