Swim the Fly

Three adolescent boys with a single goal: see a real live naked girl. The result? Razor-sharp, rapid-fire, and raunchy, of course. And beyond hilarious. Fifteen-year-old Matt Gratton and his two best friends, Coop and Sean, always set themselves a summertime goal. This year's? To see a real-live naked girl for the first time — quite a challenge, given that none of the guys has the nerve to even ask a girl out on a date. But catching a girl in the buff starts to look easy compared to Matt's other summertime aspiration: to swim the 100-yard butterfly (the hardest stroke known to God or man) as a way to impress Kelly West, the sizzling new star of the swim team. In the spirit of Hollywood’s blockbuster comedies, screenwriter-turned-YA-novelist Don Calame unleashes a true ode to the adolescent male: characters who are side-splittingly funny, sometimes crude, yet always full of heart.

Teen & Young Adult

Calame, Don

Literature & Fiction

Candlewick

Get ready for riffs on hot girls, health class, and social hell! The outrageously funny boys from Swim the Fly return to rock their sophomore year. In this hilarious sequel to Swim the Fly, told from Coop’s point of view, it’s the beginning of the school year, and the tenth-grade health class must work in pairs on semester-long projects. Matt and Sean get partnered up (the jerks), but Coop is matched with the infamous "Hot Dog" Helen for a presentation on safe sex. Everybody’s laughing, except for Coop, who’s convinced that the only way to escape this social death sentence is to win "The Battle of the Bands" with their group, Arnold Murphy’s Bologna Dare. There’s just one problem: none of the guys actually plays an instrument. Will Coop regain his "cool" before it’s too late? Or will the forced one-on-one time with Helen teach him a lesson about social status he never saw coming? With ribald humor and a few sweet notes, screenwriter-turned-novelist Don Calame once again hits all the right chords.

Beat the Band

Contemporary

Three adolescent boys with a single goal: see a real-live naked girl. The result? Razor-sharp, rapid-fire, and raunchy, of course. And beyond hilarious. Fifteen-year-old Matt Gratton and his two best friends, Coop and Sean, always set themselves a summertime goal. This year's? To see a real-live naked girl for the first time — quite a challenge, given that none of the guys has the nerve to even ask a girl out on a date. But catching a girl in the buff starts to look easy compared to Matt's other summertime aspiration: to swim the 100-yard butterfly (the hardest stroke known to God or man) as a way to impress Kelly West, the sizzling new star of the swim team. In the spirit of Hollywood’s blockbuster comedies, screenwriter-turned-YA-novelist Don Calame unleashes a true ode to the adolescent male: characters who are side-splittingly funny, sometimes crude, yet always full of heart.

Call the Shots

And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight — scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire scheme (big surprise), and this time the comedy plays out from Sean’s point of view. What’s the new master plan? Making a cheapo horror movie guaranteed to make Coop, Sean, and Matt filthy rich! It’s a terrible idea, and Sean knows it. But he actually is desperate for cash — and for a way to wipe that big fat L off his girlfriend-less forehead. But when he agrees to write a script about the attack of zombie-vampire humanzees, he has no idea just how powerful a chick magnet this movie will be. Suddenly Sean is juggling not one but three interested ladies. There’s his accidental-girlfriend-turned-psychotic-stalker, Evelyn. There’s the wicked hot actress from drama class, Leyna, who seems willing to do anything to land the starring role. And even his twin sister’s gothed-out best friend, Nessa, is looking at Sean in a whole new way. Will any of them wind up as Sean’s true leading lady? Will Sean stop being a doormat and finally start calling the shots?

Get ready for riffs on hot girls, health class, and social hell! The outrageously funny boys from SWIM THE FLY return to rock their sophomore year. (Ages 14 and up) In this hilarious sequel to SWIM THE FLY, told from Coop’s point of view, it’s the beginning of the school year, and the tenth-grade health class must work in pairs on semester-long projects. Matt and Sean get partnered up (the jerks), but Coop is matched with the infamous "Hot Dog" Helen for a presentation on safe sex. Everybody’s laughing, except for Coop, who’s convinced that the only way to escape this social death sentence is to win "The Battle of the Bands" with their group, Arnold Murphy’s Bologna Dare. There’s just one problem: none of the guys actually plays an instrument. Will Coop regain his "cool" before it’s too late? Or will the forced one-on-one time with Helen teach him a lesson about social status he never saw coming? With ribald humor and a few sweet notes, screenwriter-turned-novelist Don Calame once again hits all the right chords.

From screenwriter Don Calame comes another outrageously funny and raunchy tale of teen boys whose plans go awry — this time, on a survivalist camping trip. Shy and scrawny Dan Weekes spends his time creating graphic novels inspired by his dream girl and looking out for his mom as she dates every man in the state of California. Then his mom drops a bomb: she and her latest beau, Hank, are engaged, and she’s sending her “two favorite men” on a survivalist camping trip to “bond.” Determined to trick Hank into showing his true — flawed — colors on the trip, Dan and his nerdy germaphobe best friend, Charlie, prepare a series of increasingly gross and embarrassing pranks. But the boys hadn’t counted on a hot girl joining their trip or on getting separated from their wilderness guide—not to mention the humiliating injuries Dan suffers in the course of terrorizing his stepdad-to-be. With a man-hungry bear on their trail, no supplies, and a lot of unpleasant itching going on, can Dan see his plan through now that his very survival depends on Hank?

Dan Versus Nature

Product Description 
Quinn’s illusions are as good as those in any Vegas act—but can he win a spot at a prestigious magic camp despite an upstaging partner, a cute rival, and a con-artist mentor? \nFifteen-year-old Quinn Purcell wants only one thing: to win a coveted spot at the Masters of Magic Fantasy Camp. But the competition is stiff, including Dani Darling, an incredibly talented, and incredibly attractive, rival magician who prestidigitates her way into Quinn’s heart—unless that’s just another of her tricks. To make matters worse, Quinn and his best friend, Perry, have always performed their magic as a team, but the judges want solo acts, and a two-man audition might disqualify them. When Quinn meets his idol, the Dazzling Lazlo, at a diner, it seems like a sign. If he can convince Lazlo to spill the secrets to his greatest trick, then the spot at the camp is all but Quinn’s. But is the washed-up magician just using Quinn to run a few scams? When the chips are down, what will Quinn risk—his best friend, his new crush, or his career as a magician? Hilarious and fast-paced, Don Calame’s latest novel is full of complicated magic tricks and equally complicated friendships. 
 Review 
Calame convincingly conjures the combination of patter, misdirection, relentless practice, and elaborate preparation that makes the magic happen (and not just on stage). 
—Kirkus Reviews\nThe teen's inner angst is balanced with a series of wacky, humorous events. . . Recommended for teens looking for a light read. 
—School Library Journal\nThe author weaves the multiple plot lines together seamlessly and keeps the reader wanting more. 
—School Library Connection 
 About the Author 
Don Calame is the author of the young adult novels 
Swim the Fly, 
 Beat the Band, 
 Call the Shots, 
 and 
Dan Versus Nature. He is also an accomplished screenwriter who has worked with Marvel Studios, the Disney Channel, Lionsgate, Universal Studios, and Paramount Pictures. Don Calame was born in New York and now lives in British Columbia with his wife and their dog, Anna.

The Delusionist

Matt Gratton and his two best friends, Sean and Coop, always set themselves a summertime goal. This year’s? To see a real-live naked girl for the first time. As far as Matt is concerned, they’d have better luck finding the lost city of Atlantis. But seeing a girl in the buff starts to seem like child’s play compared to the other summertime goal Matt sets for himself: to swim the 100-yard butterfly (the hardest stroke known to God or man) in order to impress Kelly West, the hot new girl. So what if he can’t manage a single lap, let alone four? He’s got the whole summer to perfect his technique. What could possibly go wrong?“Raunchy (but mildly so) hilarity ensues.” -People Magazine“Serves up jokes and gross-outs in the style of filmmakers like Judd Apatow....Boys will probably love it. This one did.” -The New York Times Book Review“Hilariously raucous scenes stuff its pages.” -Los Angeles Times

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Books by Calame, Don

See the best price to sell, buy, or rent books by Calame, Don. BookScouter helps to compare book prices from 25+ online bookstores and 30+ buyback vendors with a single search.

Swim the Fly

Beat the Band

Swim the Fly

Call the Shots

Beat the Band

Call the Shots

Dan Versus Nature

The Delusionist

Swim the Fly

Beat the Band